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6 weeks off giving birth & he's texting.

(19 Posts)
Teaching123 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:16:18

I can't be bothered to name change for this.

6 weeks off giving birth to DD2 - but our first child together (he has a DS). Went on his iPad this morning as left mine upstairs.

He's been texting some girl. It was clearly a random number - he said he didn't know who she was in the messages - got her to tell him her name and send a photo - told her how pretty she was - gave her a fake name and fake job. Said it was a shame they didn't know each other.

It was a week or so ago. Day before his birthday. Me and my 4yo DD we off buying his presents and she was getting so excited for his birthday.

We put an offer in on a house yesterday. Mine is sold. He is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I cannot believe he'd do this to me. We've not had sex for weeks as I'm pregnant and he said now my bump is so big he doesn't want to.

I feel like a fool. And don't know what to do.

Teaching123 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:23:26

I know people go through worse, and it's not an affair. I guess I just can't tell anyone in RL as I feel such a fool & need to just get it off my chest.

chairmeoh Fri 07-Aug-15 15:25:29

Hey, don't feel a fool! This isn't your fault, it's his.
Are you living together at the moment? I know it's easier said than done, particularly when you are so pregnant, but I'd not be buying a house with him if I were you.
Have you confronted him about this?

BathtimeFunkster Fri 07-Aug-15 15:30:39


Oh god.

You poor thing.

He's a creepy sleaze.

Don't buy a house with him.

FabULouse Fri 07-Aug-15 15:38:46

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Jan45 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:39:20

Offer can be withdrawn, get your own place. Men like him are always the same, as soon as their partner gets pregnant they see it as a red light to go out and cheat, it's just an excuse, their intention was always there.


Teaching123 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:47:36

I woke him up this morning by showing him the iPad. He said he's sorry. And doesn't know why he did it.

I said he must be very bored with our life. He insists he just doesn't know why and he isn't that person.

He's gone to work and we are talking tonight when DD1 is at her dads.

Can't really do the house sale, can't afford it on maternity on my own.

Thank you all. I guess you're confirming what I didn't want to think about him/us.

butterflygirl15 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:58:05

I agree - do not buy a house with him. This behaviour is disloyal, and there could be more. If you stay with him he will do it again.

He isn't bored, he is a philanderer.

BathtimeFunkster Fri 07-Aug-15 16:00:23

He insists he just doesn't know why and he isn't that person.

hmm confused

So is he claiming to have multiple personality disorder?

Because otherwise, there is no avoiding that he is that person.

He is that person who approaches women online for sexual kicks.

And of course he knows why. As do you.

He did it because he wanted to.

Teaching123 Fri 07-Aug-15 16:05:54

I'm actually finding it harder that he doesn't know her. He's that much of a twat that it's not even some girl he knows and fancies, she is a total random to him. Imagine what he's like if he knows a girl and fancies her.

Jan45 Fri 07-Aug-15 16:06:53

If this is what he does prior to buying a house together and not long giving birth, god help you when the road gets rocky.

Don't do it OP, it's actually just giving him the green light to treat you even more badly when you are financially locked with him.

WorzelsCornyBrows Fri 07-Aug-15 16:44:07

Oh dear!

Well he is that person, because he did it, so there goes that excuse. What's the next one "you've been grumpy, tired, not showing me enough attention"?

I suppose at least if it's a random number and he doesn't know her there was no chance of anything physical happening, but his actions display a shocking ability to set aside you and your relationship in order to suit himself. Not a great characteristic for anyone.

Delay buying somewhere for a while, you don't want to be financially chained to this man whilst you're figuring out what you want to do. Go ahead with buying a house and you might as well say "it's not a big deal and I'm still in this for the long term".

elizalovelacey Fri 07-Aug-15 17:27:37

Do the best thing for yourself and your dcs, he is trying to cheat on you. Do not buy a house with him,in fact get right away from him.Sorry you are going through thissad

Joysmum Fri 07-Aug-15 17:37:40

If he doesn't know why he did it then he can't change to make sure it doesn't happen again.

even if he did, you never be able to trust him again fully.

shovetheholly Fri 07-Aug-15 17:40:39

This is awful timing with your house sale. You poor thing. I second the advice of everyone who says: do not chain yourself financially to this man! The money you have invested in the house sale is nothing compared to the time and tears it'll cost you to move in with him!

HoldYerWhist Fri 07-Aug-15 17:44:56

I don't think you should go through with buying the house.

Can you use the proceeds of the sale of yours to buy something smaller in your own name?

Down the line, if he miraculously changes every fibre of his sleazy being, you can look at it again.

I don't think you should tie yourself to this man financially.

Christinayanglah Fri 07-Aug-15 17:48:38

I'm sorry this has happened to you, particularly at this time

I would be worried that this was the tip of the iceberg, it's rare for the one thing you have found to be the only thing they have done

alongcamespiders Fri 07-Aug-15 20:08:26

Sorry this sounds awful but I'm curious, how does he get hold of some random number?

Teaching123 Fri 07-Aug-15 23:07:02

No idea about the number. I didn't actually ask. Just been pulling out of the house sale. Fun evening! Jesus.

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