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mixed signals confusing me and feeling really lonely

(9 Posts)
dippyd123 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:01:51

Hello ladies, well because im totally crap at relationships im back for more hard truthful advice.

Well were do I start? So about 8 weeks spilt with a guy was really upset by it but life goes on missing him terribly I decided last week enough was enough and arranged a date with some guy off pof we had been chatting alot over the last few weeks and this was the 3rd time he had asked so thought why not. Well after about an half hour of been in the pub with him I knew pretty fast I didnt want to be there he was pretty decent looking but in person his personality didnt come across as it had in messages, he was pretty direct and I felt really uncomfortable, the fact he said within 5 mins "wow your boobs really are as big they look in pictures"!! Still let that comment go and after half an hour i decided to make a toilet trip just to get away on return he just came out with it that he thinks we should skip rest of drinks and go back to his then decided to tell me what he wanted to do to me... Needless to say I told him i wasnt ready for that then i walked off back to the toilets I guess I could of handled the situation better instead of running off like a coward. After a few mins in there I felt really worried about going out incase he was still about, i never felt threatened by him or anything and tbh I can give as good as I get if he did try out but still felt awkward
Anyway cut a long story short I had this urge to txt the ex I had been wanting to for a while deep down and with the few drinks id just had, I dont know what i was wanting to achieve but anyway I txt him asked what he was upto and that i needed picking up from this pub. He instantly rang me up to see what was up felt a right idiot explaining and he said sorry ive got kids cant just leave them with his mum not seen them all week, fair enough and i hung up. Next minute rang again said he was on his way.

So I went and got in car he told me im an idiot for getting into these situations, i agreed anyway sat out side my house for about 20 mins talking I was happy he seemed alot happier and he was now having regular access to the kids. He appologised for been arsey with me then said he thinks I should stop going on these websites that im too good for them, and if ive been feeling lonely why didnt I call him. I explained because I was already hurting and thought a fresh start would be for the best, he then told me he has missed me like mad and now things wernt as complicated maybe we could start seeing each other se what happens.

Now im not totally dim and took last advice on bored (eg, he seemed to want everything on his terms), told him id be intouch when id slept on things. So sunday came and I had alot on so never botherd txting him part of me wanted to see if he would txt me and guess what he didnt!! So feeling pretty stupid yet again started the week on a downer plus other stuff going on with kids just been feeling really low. Roll on Weds he txt me saying thought i was going to txt him? My reply well i wanted to see if you used your inititive and made the first move. He just said lol sorry.

Anyway sorry to keep rambling on but i then opened upto him and rang him and explained how i was feeling and that im not going to keep yoyo-ing and he said he felt same. So he said cards on table do you want to go on a date and try put everything else behind us start again from scratch... I said yes but cant until next week as kids not going to see dad this week so hes sort of invited himself round tonight. Ive had a really long essay off him which i do think is pretty genuine so anyway When kids are in bed hes coming for pizza im bit nervous and feel like i should cancel but at same time i want to either end things properly or step forward a little. I am getting mixed messages from him and have been since the split but i know im not totally blameless.

Sorry for long essay just been holding it all in all week x

dippyd123 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:04:52

Oh and the guy from the date keeps messaging me ive told him very politely to f off, and asked dont i fancy him haha

rouxlebandit Fri 07-Aug-15 15:12:11

Sorry to be pedantic but this is very hard to read without punctuation.

dippyd123 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:19:52

I am sorry i must admit I struggled to read first paragraph back to myself typing too fast sad

Was there something inparticular you struggled on? Its useful to know for future referance

Spartans Fri 07-Aug-15 15:21:12

I can't see the mixed messages. You split, he has suggested you give it another go. You need I make a decision.

If you want to I've it another go do it. But testing him by saying you will text him then not doing, just to see if he will is childish and no way to start a relationship again.

If anything I think the mixed messages are coming from you. Going on a date then calling him to rescue you when it goes badly, saying you will text then purposely not doing is sending mixed messages.

I haven't read your past threads. But I i were you I wouldn't let him come round until I knew what I wanted.

dippyd123 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:25:35

I know as I said im not totally blameless, but the past thread I posted alot of the ladies were saying he was using me and that he was trying to control me. He had just come out of a long relationship and his head was a mess. I feel bad I called him to rescue me id had a few to drink and guess I just wanted to see if he cared nothing was planned. I regret all of last weekend proof not to drink when down in the dumps

Spartans Fri 07-Aug-15 15:29:44

As I said I haven't read your past thread.

But from what you say, it's still not mixed messages coming from him. He sounds like he has been upfront. He is back and forth over his feelings and asked if you would like to give it another go. I think it's pretty clear. If he doesn't treat you well, you need to move on. It's doesn't matter if he will rescue you, it matters that he respects you and treats you well.

dippyd123 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:37:37

Well i will see how things go tonight I have missed him like mad just hard as this will be the 3rd time of trying to give things another go.
Last 2 times he just ended things over something that could of easilly been solved, im going to tell him that if he is serious he needs to learn how to talk about how hes feeling and to solve the issue rather than walk off. His last relationship was on and off for years and I guess part of me thinks this is how hes come to think is the norm ?

dippyd123 Fri 07-Aug-15 16:00:33

Had a message saying he cant wait to see me tonight so thats promising its put a smile on my face anyway

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