Hi,
This seems a bit trivial compared to what some poor people are going through on here but..........
I've been in a relationship (post divorce) for the past 2yrs, we've been living independently until the end of last month when we moved in together, albeit temporarily whilst my new house becomes available.
(It's probably worth pointing out here, that this new house is deliberately big enough to incorporate his family too, although his equity is tied up with the ex-wife). So all future plans are to move in together permanently.
In April it was announced that he was going on holiday with his kids (15 & 17) and his parents, plus the 17yr old's BF.
I was very anti this plan at the time, as it seemed divisive and really exclusive towards me and my 10yr old daughter. The reasoning behind it went from "it's our last family holiday before DD goes to university" and "we've had such terrible holidays in the past (with his previous ex) that the kids want to go alone".
I feel I get on really well with his kids, there have been no real issues (and I'm sure I'd know if there were!) plus my DD is really relaxed with them, and not demanding in a younger sibling kind of way, that may be expected.
Anyway, here we are stuck at his house whilst they are all away. I had a meltdown about it, a few days before they went - I / we just felt really rejected at a time when we needed to feel loved and included (moving into his house). He said all the right things - about commitment and us all being together as a 'family' in the future etc...
Also, he admitted that it was a poor decision, made at a time prior to us deciding to move in together, and that he shouldn't have listened to his kids (but sadly he often seems to make poor decisions regarding his kids as he is scared of losing / upsetting them, after a pretty rocky divorce 10yrs ago and an ex wife who uses access to the children as a weapon).
After they actually left for the holiday we started feeling more positive about stuff and have tried to fill the week with various activities etc... However, today I feel anger and resentment again, probably because I'm tired but I'm also fed up of people asking why we're not on holiday too and not having a viable explanation to give them.
I'm beginning to wonder that, although I feel that I've forgiven him most of the time, that I haven't really and that this is going to resurface every time I feel tired, emotional etc...etc... That's to say how much damage has this caused and instead of a new beginning together, is this just the beginning of the end?!
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Relationships
on holiday without us with his kids and parents
alsteff · 07/08/2015 11:19
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