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Reassurance needed!

(7 Posts)
daisyJ123 Fri 07-Aug-15 10:04:57

Hi all
Have had great advice on here before & just after a bit of reassurance I think...
On Wednesday I broke up with my boyfriend. We were together 6 months & until month 4, everything was peachy. I wrote a thread around then as he started to be protective over his phone & seemed quite preoccupied.
In six months, I hardly met any of his friends (including one in particular who he shad a brief relationship with 6 months before we got together) and always felt a bit separate from the rest of his life. We were both busy (work, single parents etc) but I always felt he wasn't quite ready or willing to 'be' with me. 3 weeks ago I started to feel overly insecure & like I was 'disappearing' a bit. I told him I wanted some space & we didn't see each other for a week. In that time I felt great. Clear headed, proactive & generally awesome. We got back together & the insecure feelings popped up again. And the knot in my stomach returned.. But since I ended it I'm having huge regrets & feeling like crap.
I'm having counselling for my trust issues (ongoing in most relationships with men) & hope I haven't just made a huge mistake based on my own insecurities

daisyJ123 Fri 07-Aug-15 10:06:40

Posted too early..
Any thoughts or advice or similar experiences would be much appreciated because I feel like I've totally fucked up.

OhNoNotMyBaby Fri 07-Aug-15 10:13:25

no no no Daisy. You haven't fucked up at all.

Trust your gut in everything. The knot in your stomach means it wasn't working. yes you need to 'practice' having relationships and trusting people and talking to them about how feel - which is exactly what you did here. And you realised that it wasn't working and he wasn't the one.

You should be congratulating yourself for your courage, your insight and the fact that you took action that has put you in a better place for the next time.

Onwards and upwards girl!

Gunpowder Fri 07-Aug-15 10:18:40

Great post from OhNo. I think she's absolutely right. And when you meet the right person you won't have those doubts. You will know 100% they want to be with you.

daisyJ123 Fri 07-Aug-15 13:56:42

Thanks Ohno & Gunpowder
I'm totally not missing that knot in my stomach & am looking forward to having all the extra energy for my daughter instead of wasting it worrying & speculating...
Just feel a bit like I'm destined to be single forever- 39 now.

rouxlebandit Fri 07-Aug-15 14:33:37

"Just feel a bit like I'm destined to be single forever- 39 now."

Still young Daisy. Besides age is just a number. Be a happy, fun-loving mum for your daughter to admire. Develop existing hobbies and interests (or take up new ones) that bring you into contact with nice people - men and women of all ages. Don't be anxious about finding Mr. Right. Put that on the back burner for now. Be a happy, smiling, caring, outgoing young woman and he will find you!

SilverBirchWithout Fri 07-Aug-15 14:39:14

No point in being in a relationship that makes you feel rubbish, but to be single.

Trust is difficult when you have been hurt or betrayed in the past, however don't let yourself think that your judgement is wrong. Your own instincts are probably more finely tuned than you realise.

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