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How much of your past do you share ?

5 replies

spudlike1 · 07/08/2015 09:39

I have started therapy again this is my 5 th attempt I find it all very difficult .
This time I'm determined to be really honest. The therapy us quite expensive so I have taken a break over the summer children/ holiday etc. However I'm dreaming about past stuff I wake up quite upset and reading stuff on this board that upsets me.
I have two questions :
1- How much do I share with DH is it necessary, I feel I should but I don't know.
2- Have I made a mistake choosing a male therapist some of my past involved rape .
I like the therapist he's highly qualified and I've failed to tell all to female therapists in the past .
Thankyou

OP posts:

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Joysmum · 07/08/2015 10:46

I don't share details of my sessions, just general points sometimes.

I don't understand things enough yet to be able to express myself well enough.

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Skiptonlass · 07/08/2015 13:23

I think your therapist is the one who deals with the details. I'd keep it on a level of 'dealt with some rough stuff today, feeling a bit fragile' level with your other half. He's not a therapist so he should support you of course but you don't need to rehash all the details with him.

As for the gender of the therapist - that's dependent on how you feel about them. I think if you've got a good relationship then the gender is less relevant, but it's absolutely up to you. It's you who has to be able to share.

Good luck.

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weedinthepool · 07/08/2015 13:27

I don't share much of my past generally beyond the facts e.g I was abused. I don't think it helps the person trying to support me and I find it triggering to talk about. The only people who have had full disclosure are the police. I can't even tell it all to my therapist. We tend to focus on my feelings rather than the acts IYSWIM? Would it help you to do that? Maybe say something along the lines if being raped made me feel like x, y and z kind of thing?

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weedinthepool · 07/08/2015 13:29

And re your DH when he asks how the sessions gone maybe you could say we covered some tough things and its made me feel...??

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spudlike1 · 07/08/2015 18:10

Thankyou everyone in not sorted through enough to express it all .
I wondering did you get separate counselling for different events on your life