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I'm messing everything up....except my baby

(4 Posts)
marybonbon Thu 06-Aug-15 16:42:02

I posted this in Postnatal, but it might be better here?

I'm not sure what to do next - any words of advice to help me rationalise would be greatly appreciated.

DD is 9.5 months and I'm a FTM. I'm 39 and OH is 46 (but we used to feel a lot younger!). I was diagnosed with PND at 8 months. I felt everything was getting more difficult, rather than easier. MY OH, usually a kind and honourable man isn't computing that I'm struggling. I think he thinks I can wave a magic wand and just feel better.

My DD is amazing and I love being with her. I've started back at work 3 days a week and she goes to my parents for 2 days and OH for other day so I'm really lucky. But I'm still struggling......WHY??? Last night OH and I had an almighty row and today I've not heard from him, he's not answering. It all started because he tried it on in bed and I said no. (Am so tired all the time). He called me a few hurtful names out of frustration and I got upset. He thinks I don't fancy him, which isn't true. It doesn't matter how much I tell him he thinks I'm old and boring because I want to sleep.

It feels like it might be the end of us.....he's at the end of his tether with me and just doesn't understand. I just want my old self back. I've put everything into trying to be the best mum I can be and I've f*cked everything else up. I'm short tempered with OH and he calls me a dragon.
Even with all my help and support I'm exhausted.

How can I fix this???

ASAS Thu 06-Aug-15 16:44:27

It's early days. Just breathe and show him your OP.

You'll get there

BitchPeas Thu 06-Aug-15 16:50:56

Hurtful names because you won't shag him? That is never ok! What did he call you apart from dragon?You are ill, you have a diagnosed illness and you have just gone back to work and have a small baby. It will be hard, he should be supporting you every step of the way and telling you how amazingly you are doing.

PND can be tough on partners, but he's being awful IMO.

Can you talk to your mum/friends irl? Did this happen before baby? (The name calling)

marybonbon Sun 09-Aug-15 14:17:14

Thanks for coming back.

I think there is more going on here. We've been bickering a lot and he's stressed and self employed. The competition are trying to put him out of business. I believe he is lashing out at me because I'm closest. What with low libido and PND, it's not a great combination. We've nearly called it a day several times this week....yet we are still here. I want this relationship to be forever...for me and for DD.

As for the PND, I'm happier but exhausted. She has just started sleeping better. What can I do diet wise to boost energy levels? I'm not brilliant at exercising (mostly due to time) but I do take DD out for a walk every day. We live in the country so it's good for the soul.

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