Had to name change.
Those last words that ex (DS dad) said to me, were the words that pushed me to leave for good.
DS dad and I were both 17 when we we met and had DD the year after. We were on and off for 6 years. He has always been abusive, physically and mentally. But I kept going back, hoping he will change, I will leave him then go back to him, this was going on and off for the past six years. I kidded myself that because he was young, he would change when he got older...well his now 23 and his still the same abusive prick.
We broke up for about a year so that he can "fix" himself, he went to DV classes, he seemed to have changed, there was no more jealousy, he wouldn't go through my phone, I could say no to him without him getting a tantrum, he was there more for his child. However, (just graduated) I was stressing over my exams, and DS dad kept begging me to see him, I said I couldn't because I was very stressed, tired..you name it...(I didn't see him for 2 weeks). I told him that I love him, but in the time being just wanted to concentrate on my exams. The behaviour started again, he got very jealous, accusing me of seeing other men and then he said " I'm gonna fucking stab you" and that was it, I stopped contacting him and changed my number. I suspect he was seeing someone else, but I don't care anymore.
I didn't feel right when we were in a relationship, I didn't have any more children with him because I didn't want to bring another child into our mess, I was also afraid of SS may take DS away and I didn't want DS to be brought up in an abusive household, I didn't trust him and I didn't see a future with him.
It's been three months now since we've last saw him and I've just started to ache for him. Why do I feel so sad? I'm so worried that I won't be able to meet a new partner and have more kids... I'm just so sad and alone.
Though, I guarantee in October he will be coming back to me as he wasn't born in the country and used DS for the reason why he wants to stay. He has to renew his visa later on this year and immigration want proof that he has been having regular contact with DS. He hasn't. Though, he will beg me to lie for him.
I need to get a grip.
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"I'm gonna fucking stab you"
29 replies
Scootergirl45 · 06/08/2015 14:39
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