I have messaged on here before about my dysfunctional relationship - mostly I've been advised to LTB due to:
His irresponsibility with money
Lack of any practical input to the household
The fact that I feel like I "parent" him
Previous infidelity & DV
His behaviour towards his SS (My eldest DS)
My lack of respect for him
(Don't know how to add links or would put them here)
Listing it like this sounds awful, I am well aware of that but it does not truly convey the RL situation fully as there is good stuff too but I don't tend to post about that, just enjoy the calm
After months of emotional detachment by me (I know that this is not good) it has reached the point where he's told me "I need to know if you want me or not because if you don't then let me go and find someone who does" and he has informed me we will be talking about this tonight and making a decision once and for all about out marriage.
We have had many of these talks before and they never really resolve anything. He will not accept any responsibility for his actions as he feels that he has tried his best to change (he had anger management and swapped going the pub every night for going the gym instead - small improvement but not really dealing with the underlying issues). We will start of by talking but due tot he above as soon as I try to discuss my attitude is based on his actions he will start to name call and get personal and generally not provide a good space in which to argue and try to resolve these issues. I try to keep as much emotional crap about of these discussions and deal with the issues but inevitably get drawn in - at which point I just disengage as its not productive.
Just after some advice as to how to deal with tonight's conversation in a proactive way. Do i be brutally honest? Tips on how to order my thoughts etc. so i don't get drawn into his self pity and drama? Someone previously posted on a recent thread I posted that its too good to leave, too bad to stay and akin to death by a thousand cuts - that is exactly how I feel - i do not trust my judgement enough to make a good decision. HELP!!!!
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Relationships
We're having "The Talk" tonight :(
TooMuchJD · 06/08/2015 10:36
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