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need advice

(3 Posts)
Indigoblue23 Wed 05-Aug-15 20:59:41

I've never posted before but Ive now reached my wits end and I don't know what to do. I live with my boyfriend of 12 years, we were college sweethearts. We have a much loved four year old son. We have basically grown up together and now grown apart. Our relationship has been in decline for a very long time, I still care about him, but I don't love him anymore. We never have fun, we bicker about everything and I am not attracted to him like I used to be. I was prepared to live my life like this, he's certainly not a bad guy and I thought our son deserved to have both parents under the same roof. This all changed January this year when I fell in love with a man I've known and worked with for seven years. Its not just a crazy whirlwind romance, its been a long time coming. I want to end my current relationship but my partner is grieving the loss of his father, is out of work and has no where else to go. I'm terrified to tell him how I feel, as I fear it would destroy him. I cannot bring myself to hurt him so much but on the other hand my heart belongs to another, and I know I can't live this way forever. Haven't been able to speak to my extended family or friends about this, for as far as they know, we are happy. I don't know what to do sad

Rewy Wed 05-Aug-15 23:27:20

There will never be a right time to tell him. You either do or you don't .
Whatever you decide you don't continue to waste anymore of his life in a one sided relationship.
From your post it is difficult to distinguish wether you have taken your relationship with your work colleague to a physical level??? Is he also married or in aa relationship??
If you haven't already. Then tell your dh because physically or emotionally it would constitute affair. And that makes you low life.

Whatever you say will hurt . Just don't leave it.

Jan45 Thu 06-Aug-15 12:11:20

If the relationship is that bad I am sure he wont be shocked. Why are you staying with someone you don't even love, there's no point, habit or children or his current situation are no reasons to stay put.

He will have to be an adult and sort out his life and you will have to stop living a lie.

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