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I am actually terrible at dating!! (This may be long...)

(6 Posts)
officeworker Tue 04-Aug-15 19:56:47


I'm going to try and keep this as brief as possible as I really just want to vent more than advice on everything!

Me and a guy met online. I'm 31, he's 23...massive age gap I know but it's me with more of a problem than he has. We met up first date, great time, lots of talking and getting to know each other. Second date, exactly the same really. Had a lot of fun. But we just went on walks and drives.

Third date last Tuesday, went for a meal and then went bowling and to play pool which was great. I had an excellent time, he did too. And we shared our first (and only) very brief one nanosecond kiss out in the rain that night. We met again on Saturday and went to a park and basically messed around kicking a football about, went on the beach and it was genuinely cool. I love physical activity so doing stuff like this is great.

Now to me at this point, him driving me back to my car, it's all going swimmingly well, we may even share another kiss here. But then we proceeded to talk ex's. Mainly because his ex was still programmed into his car speaker system when we were adding my phone to it. Then he mentioned how he thought if my ex came calling I'd get back with him. So I tried saying no, it's over blah blah. And it seems fine, we reach my car. I go to give him a cuddle and then kiss and he turns his head so I kissed his cheek! Cringe. It was honestly one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I got back to my car and thumped the steering wheel at how stupid I had been. I said at that point, I'm never even contacting him again!!

That night I was going out drinking with some friends, and he knew this. So instead of being the person who texts twice a day, whilst I was out he text every two minutes and to be fair I was replying so I did enjoy it. But obviously I was still hugely embarrassed about the situation prior. I got drunk, called him and told him...and he responded with that it wasn't the right moment to kiss! How awful. It just made me feel terrible and like why should I even bother. After I got slightly annoyed, we spoke again in the taxi back and we both agreed (from what I remember) that we enjoy dating and we will see each other again.

All contact since Saturday night was initiated by him as I understood if he wanted to not date, that was fine. Then since yesterday he's gone silent! I text him just normal...asking about his day in reply to his last text. Text him today to see if he wants to go out at the weekend, and nothing! Worst part is he's read the message on WhatsApp ten minutes after I sent it and hasn't replied. So I feel like such a fool.

Usually I'm so good at dating but I've just got this situation all freaking wrong!! I don't think I need any advice, other than to man up and not to even attempt to contact him again unless he speaks to me...but I'm gutted I didn't even see it coming!!

ittooshallpass Tue 04-Aug-15 20:16:08

It all sounds too much too soon. And him texting you constantly while you are out with friends is a massive red flag.

I don't know why you feel embarrassed. Nothing has happened.

It sounds like he treats you like a mate with all this football in the park nonsense. That's not dating.

Just forget about him. He sounds far too young and immature for you.

You tried him on. He didn't fit. Move on...

pocketsaviour Tue 04-Aug-15 20:35:01

He sounds like a twat who still thinks dating is about having a kickabout in the park after school. No reason for you to be embarrassed, just chalk it up to experience and ensure you date men and not boys in future ;)

officeworker Tue 04-Aug-15 20:38:16

Oh the football thing was my suggestion though! We initially decided to go to the beach and a small theme park next to it for a date - but he was scared to go on the rides blush

So when walking back to his car we got the football out and decided to go to the park, it genuinely was fun and what I wanted to do!

I do understand though what you guys are saying...I was the one who said the age difference would be a problem and everyone said to give him a chance. I read all the time online about people meeting and then disappearing, I never thought it'd happen to me.

Cocalite Tue 04-Aug-15 22:59:49

Time to move on!

TheMarxistMinx Tue 04-Aug-15 23:02:27

Sounds like he has very little experience of women, but then he is only 23. He seems insecure, unsure, and maybe a little jealous that you were out with friends. Plus at that age he probably thinks it will be fine to go quiet from time to time and then just pick up where you left off. Just hooking up once in a while, although it would seem he might be a little too intimidated and daunted to initiate a physical relationship. I would thank your lucky stars you haven't broken his heart and forget it.

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