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He used me for sex :-( feel so sad

(256 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Confused2015xxx Mon 03-Aug-15 16:32:06

A man persued my for years .
Charming and I was really attracted to him .
We text all the time and got on well .
Two weeks ago he came to mine and we had some drinks .We got on so well and really clicked .
I was just finishing my period and wasn't planning on having sex but he convinced me .
Anyway since he's hardly gave me the time of day .
He sent me a few messages but doesn't seem bothered about having a convo with me .
He told me he he loved me and stupidly I believed him .
We have known each other years .
I text Him 4 hours ago and no reply .
What did I do wrong ?
I feel really sad :-(
I'm not normally this stupid and niaeve but I hand on heart thought it was genuine .

helenahandbag Mon 03-Aug-15 16:36:49

Are you the poster who slept with her friend's brother? That poster also put spaces before punctuation marks and had just finished her period when she had sex with him...

ImperialBlether Mon 03-Aug-15 16:39:00

He sounds horrible, pursuing you like that and then not wanting to be in touch with you.

Are you sure you'd even want to be with someone who could behave like that?

handfulofcottonbuds Mon 03-Aug-15 16:41:08

Don't text him again, stay strong.

It happens unfortunately, best that you find out now. If he does message you in a week or two - ignore him. In fact, block him.

I'm sorry you feel rubbish.

LavenderLeigh Mon 03-Aug-15 16:44:18

Does this man have a GF and a 5 week old baby? The situation and unique punctuation seem identical

butterflygirl15 Mon 03-Aug-15 16:46:16

delete his number and block him.

helenahandbag Mon 03-Aug-15 16:51:12


I'm glad it's not just me!

Ahemily Mon 03-Aug-15 16:51:49

Lavender & Helen, was just thinking the same thing...

AcrossthePond55 Mon 03-Aug-15 16:54:52

You made a foolish mistake. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

And if you ARE the poster who had sex with someone who has commitments elsewhere, shame on you.

LoisPuddingLane Mon 03-Aug-15 16:55:26

Yup same person, definitely. I remember her saying she was on day 5 of her period...

LoisPuddingLane Mon 03-Aug-15 16:56:12

You ask what you did wrong - I believe you've been told at some length.

AnyFucker Mon 03-Aug-15 16:56:19

this is the poster who had sex with a bloke with a GF and 5 wk old baby, right ?

LoisPuddingLane Mon 03-Aug-15 16:58:23


Notnowdarling01 Mon 03-Aug-15 16:59:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly Mon 03-Aug-15 17:00:10

He pursued you for years?

Ahemily Mon 03-Aug-15 17:00:31

We need the word "his" to come up to be sure.

LoisPuddingLane Mon 03-Aug-15 17:01:30


handfulofcottonbuds Mon 03-Aug-15 17:03:12

I've been off MN a while so not up to speed with recent posts but if that's true then it's abhorrent!


YakTriangle Mon 03-Aug-15 17:04:20

What did he's last message say?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Offred Mon 03-Aug-15 17:05:37

Look, we did tell you that's what he was doing on your last thread and that you would be much better off taking control of the situation by not continuing your involvement with him....

I'm sorry for you that you are feeling used but to be quite frank, until you get some help and support you are a sitting duck for this man.

He spent ages chasing you and now he's got you to given in he isn't interested. You've now become the chaser and when he decides he fancies another go you'll be given all the lines about how noble he is again because he's been terribly torn up about what he has done, of course you are star crossed lovers/you are too tempting etc and you'll be perfectly primed to be the grateful, and perhaps increasingly spiteful OW who gets nothing from him but provides for him when he wants on his terms only.

You only think you want him because your self esteem is in the floor being stamped all over by him, that's why you need to cut him out of your life and get some support for yourself.

DextersMistress Mon 03-Aug-15 17:05:42

I believe that's called karma sweetie .

ScrambledSmegs Mon 03-Aug-15 17:10:50

Look, he's a nasty piece of work who had sex with someone when his girlfriend had just had his baby. Don't text him. Get some self-respect and move on.

Just because he pursued you for 4 years or so while he was in a relatinship does not make him your soulmate or some such rubbish. It makes him a sleazy bastard. And suggests that your boundaries are somewhat messed up. If not totally missing sad.

Offred Mon 03-Aug-15 17:10:54

And please, think outside yourself for a second hey?

Although I seriously doubt that overnight he could have transformed into a committed BF and father, if he is not taking an interest in you right now, given he was cheating with you, that's surely a good thing isn't it?

Though I doubt in reality he is capable of thinking about anyone but himself and this is probably just another planned step in his manipulation of all the women in his life.

Offred Mon 03-Aug-15 17:13:42

Given that every observable feature of your interactions with him screamed 'disingenuous' and you have now posted at least 3 threads about it, including one before you slept with him where you were overwhelmingly told he wasn't genuine, it really was not very rational to 'genuinely believe him'

Offred Mon 03-Aug-15 17:15:39

And I'm not meaning to have a go, though this is clearly frustrating, I just think you need to see that you are the key to your own happiness (or misery) not him and you need to get some support for you (maybe the freedom program) to avoid it continuing to wear you down.

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