I'm 38 and have finally, I think, made my peace with being alone.
I have a small child from a brief marriage, which I think has filled that kid shaped hole. I would have liked another but it's not to be, and that's ok.
I didn't have my first boyfriend until uni, that lasted about 2 years.
Next one was for a few months when I was about 23.
Next one was the one that got away and was from 27 to 30.
Next one was an ill advised marriage which happened purely because I thought I was missing the boat. I had DS and we split shortly after.
I am now a single parent, work full time and have no family support or anyone to rely on. I'm so busy and tired, I can't think of anything worse than dating. I like my space. I like my routine. I don't want a succession of boyfriends that I have to introduce my child to.
My child is 3 and he is everything to me. I don't want to put his needs secondary to a relationship or to my own needs (although I acknowledge that when he gets older I need my own life).
Am I reasonable is thinking that, at 38 I'm done? I don't have the time, energy or patience for a man in my life. I have never met anyone who has truly cherished me and I'm fed up of waiting. I think I'm ready to let go of the dream.
I'd like to know if anyone else has got to this point. Is it ok? How is it being older and on your own? What about when the kids grow up? I don't know anyone else who was just passed by in life when it came to love. That's how I feel, just passed by.
I'd like to add by way of extraneous detail that I am fun, educated, slim, well dressed and interesting. There is nothing I can put my finger on that might have contributed to my never having met a nice man to spend my life with. Just bad luck.
I'm rambling now so I'll just take a deep breath and
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Relationships
anyone else let go of the idea of "the one"
pickingup · 01/08/2015 20:47
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