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my plan of distraction tonight... online dating... help pls

(12 Posts)
roseyrain Sat 01-Aug-15 18:26:21

Following my thread 'how long does it take'. I'm trying to distract myself from reactivating my Facebook account or physically staking my ex. I miss him. But he's no good.

My plan is to go back on online dating. No friends or family free tonight for distraction and I feel I need to meet someone to try and fill the void.

I know this has been done to death on here. But any tips with online dating?

Are looks very important to you? Would you date someone you wasn't physically attracted to if his profile was up to scratch?

How do you weed out the bad ones.

I worry if I engage with the really good looking ones, that they'll be players as no doubt have lots of women after them. That's a terribly shallow opinion to have.. I know. But I want to meet someone without potentially getting hurt again.

Any tips would be welcomed? Thank you

roseyrain Sat 01-Aug-15 18:27:50

Fwiw. I am more intrested in their personality and whether we click. But I would need to physically fancy them too?

MadeMan Sat 01-Aug-15 18:35:20

It's not easy to gauge personality through online dating until you actually meet up with them. Initially it's about how they look and how they come across in their profile and messages, but the first date (if you get to that stage) is about tying up the online impression with the real actual impression of them.

roseyrain Sat 01-Aug-15 18:42:26

Yes you're right. I just remember before getting tonnes of messages from good looking guys typically starting with "alright babes' etc. You catch my drift. Or some lovely messages from guys who I didn't find physically attractive. Then one day received a message from a man who was good looking and genuinely nice. His message was normal. Good normal! We dated for four months and he didn't disappoint. But I messed it up with my insecurities ��

Not sure if to go on dates based on personality and hope the physical attraction grows?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sat 01-Aug-15 18:45:38

Filling the void with new men isn't going to be the answer really. But tinder is always a bit of a laugh as long as you don't take it too seriously

pocketsaviour Sat 01-Aug-15 18:45:38

I tend to look at their profile photo and then see if I can imagine myself having sex with them without going "eww". If I have a neutral reaction, then I'll give them a chance.

MadeMan Sat 01-Aug-15 18:51:40

If they look presentable in their photo and they seem nice enough in their profiles and messages, then meeting them would be a good idea to see how you both get on in real life; that's the point of it all really.

Obviously if you don't like the look of them in their photo or the messages are cocks shots and other rubbish, then don't waste your time.

I think sometimes you have to have a 'maybe' pile when online dating as well as having a 'definitely' pile and 'NO NEVER!' pile.

Ouchbloodyouch Sat 01-Aug-15 19:14:57

I'm glad I didn't go on photos.. my boyfriend doesn't take the best shot and neither do I. Obviously I have my own personal dislikes (lots of tattoos football shirts) but as the camera can lie I went on the messaging..
In fact on our first date I nervously spluttered 'oh you are so much better looking in real life ' blush he replied 'oh you are too' blushblush

3mum Sat 01-Aug-15 21:10:08

I too would like to "physically stake" my ex grin.

Steben Sat 01-Aug-15 21:19:48

Prepare for a barrage of cock shots

KatyN Sat 01-Aug-15 21:23:30

My top tip is to cast your net wide. I set a target of approaching ten men a week. This was easy at the beginning when I was new to the site, but got harder as I was on it for longer. I also might have kept a tab on them with a spreadsheet!!

Picture wise, my husband is known as surprisingly tasty mark because his photo did not do him justice and I was suprisingly impressed. I accidentally called him this once in the early days . It was very embarrassing!

KatyN Sat 01-Aug-15 21:24:24

Oh and I just had a lovely stalk of my ex on fb, 20 years ago so no feelings left, I'm just a nosey bugger!

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