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Friends wedding today and I'm not invited :(

(231 Posts)
greener2 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:26:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MythicalKings Sat 01-Aug-15 07:32:53

I can understand why you are upset but why do you feel let down by your other friend?

Nolim Sat 01-Aug-15 07:34:51

Sorry i dont get it either

greener2 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:36:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greener2 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:38:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nightboattocairo Sat 01-Aug-15 07:40:44

It's just one of those things you have to deal with in life, perhaps your friend has seen the bride more often, could be anything. don't make a big thing of it, it's her wedding, go to the evening do and have a good time. It's not about you!

TRexingInAsda Sat 01-Aug-15 07:42:08

It's really, really rude of you to tell someone you were upset at getting an evening-only invite.

GrumpyOldBiddy2 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:42:31

What Nightboat said.

GrumpyOldBiddy2 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:42:52

And Trexing

sebsmummy1 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:47:25

I can see why you are upset but I think it's bad manners to actually tell the bride this. Personally I would just stay away altogether and let everyone enjoy themselves as you are now likey to cause an atmosphere.

greener2 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:47:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greener2 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:48:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TRexingInAsda Sat 01-Aug-15 07:51:00

I think it's also not a good or healthy reaction to find out what kind of invitation someone else got and compare yours to that in a 'why did she get x when I got y' kind of way.

Don't get me wrong, I hate the whole evening invite only because it is rude, and causes offence and upset. I didn't do it at my wedding - if you were invited it was to the whole thing. But it is a way of including more people than you can afford to have for the whole thing, and is culturally normal. People who are hurt or disappointed by an evening invite should have the good grace to say nothing and just decline the invite politely.

Scarydinosaurs Sat 01-Aug-15 07:52:25

If you haven't seen her regularly and she sees her work friends every day, that would be why.

Perhaps your other friend has been a better friend to her.

You sound very self involved. It's her wedding, she can invite who she wants. Can you see a link between your behaviour and then people's reactions?

saintlyjimjams Sat 01-Aug-15 07:52:39

She gave you the invitation at the hen-do? And she gave everyone else day invitations at the hen-do? Handing out invitations at the hen-do is ODD!

Playthegameout Sat 01-Aug-15 07:55:23

If you don't see each other regularly, I think it's pretty normal to be invited to the evening reception. I think it was pretty unfair to email the bride like that. I think you're being a bit petulant not going. I can't really understand you being upset with your other friend either, she didn't engineer this situation to upset you. If I were the bride I'd be really hurt that you felt like that.

TRexingInAsda Sat 01-Aug-15 07:55:42

Crossed-posts. Yes I can see why you were upset at the hen do. That was stupid of her tbh, and you were right to leave if you were in tears at being second-class to everyone else in the room. But your email apology to her should have been 'I'm sorry blablabla and I'm afraid I won't be at the wedding' then just leave it and get over it. Not keep experiencing this hurt every time you keep finding something else out and someone else is going etc. You are making things worse for you and her every time. That's why people just politely decline evening invites - then think no more about it.

MysteryMan1 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:57:24

You need to relax about things. So what, you didn't get an invite? You don't seem particularly close anyway.

People move on as I am sure you have and things change. Life changes and quite frankly there is more important things to worry about than whether someone likes you or not. Does it really matter? If you are so emotional you will make a scene then don't go but personally I would it seems like a bit of a childish thing to do if you don't.

Take your partner etc and have a good time then post wedding make more of an effort to see her in her friendship means that much to you.

Saying all that, bring invited to the hen and not the wedding is a little odd but maybe she wants to show people how many mates she has but was constrained by budget for the wedding.

Nightboattocairo Sat 01-Aug-15 07:58:15

I went to an evening do last night, very happy to have been invited, it was a small wedding venue so numbers were limited. BUT it is odd for you to have been given the invitation at the hen do, are you positive everyone was going to the actual ceremony though, or just what you thought was going on?

It's not odd to only be invited to an evening do, though, Trex, bizarre to think it is, of course not everyone will go to the ceremony, it's how weddings have worked forever.

category1 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:58:37

Oh dear. Well, it's painful but for whatever reason you're not as considered as close a friend. You shouldn't have emailed and leaving the hen do early was a bit drama llama . If you were upset, you just go to the loo for a bit, slap on a smile and come back out.

SoupDragon Sat 01-Aug-15 07:58:55

I agree - it was really rude under any circumstances to comment on the sort of invitation you got.

Working out the guest list is a task full of pitfalls and compromises. You simply can't invite everyone.

callamia Sat 01-Aug-15 07:59:14

Why so you feel 'let down' - you received an invitation to the wedding party, and you seem to have chosen not to go (because of that?) Your friend can and should invite who she likes to her wedding.

mrsdavidbowie Sat 01-Aug-15 08:00:46

You sound very needy.

MysteryMan1 Sat 01-Aug-15 08:01:07

Apologies, repost for a few typos. It's what happens when typing on your phone in the bath!

See below:

You need to relax about things. So what, you didn't get an invite? You don't seem particularly close anyway.

People move on as I am sure you have and things change. Life changes and quite frankly there is more important things to worry about than whether someone likes you or not. Does it really matter? If you are so emotional you will make a scene then don't go but personally I would it seems like a bit of a childish thing to do if you don't.

Take your partner etc and have a good time then post wedding make more of an effort to see her if her friendship means that much to you.

Saying all that, being invited to the hen do and not the wedding is a little odd but maybe she wants to show people how many mates she has but was constrained by budget for the wedding.

Baddz Sat 01-Aug-15 08:07:32

I think you have been incredibly rude.
It's her wedding, she can invite whom she chooses. You obv aren't as close as close as you thought.
And leaving the hen do early because you were upset?
You sound like a total drama queen tbh.

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