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Abusive ex

(5 Posts)
babbum Sat 01-Aug-15 00:07:11

Hello mums,

It has taken a rather long deliberation to discuss this and I shall make this an awfully long story short.

I met my own ex 2012 and he always had 'issues' and when things were fine he seemed to find 'issues'. He has a very aggressive nature and has to win with everything he does.

When we first met it was fine, not great but fine. But I can see myself giving long story here already as I need advice so will pinpoint for ease of reading.

1. Has been verbally abusive (to a great extent) to me after he knew my feelings for him

2. Has exposed himself to my daughter (naked) she woke early in morning and sat in his sitting room to watch TV. He walked in naked, saw her, walked right past her and verbally mouthed ha ha ha and walked back out exposing himself again. Due to no witnesses his word against my daughters so no charges can be placed. Very upsetting,

3. Locked his own daughter out of the car for asking for a packet of crisps. Dragged her literally from car and was driving like a maniac. Locked 4 year old out of car and she was screaming to him to let her back in. I was a nervous wreck as can't say anything to him or he turns crazy and children feeling his wrecklessness.

Many more incidents with his behaviour but too much to go on with tonight, up at 6 but would appreciate others perspective on this.

He works for public sector as do I. He can't do this with his job but is so manipulative. How can I stop him making my life a misery?

notrocketscience Sat 01-Aug-15 00:12:39

Sorry, it's late and I'm being thick but what advice are you seeking? This man is a nightmare but I'm unclear how he still figures in your life? Do you have children together? He is your ex right? not a current man?

babbum Sat 01-Aug-15 00:19:18

I have a court case up upcoming against him with domestic abuse and child assault charges. There are bail conditions against him that he doesn't approach me or my children but he has sent someone of himself even to see our at the moment 'jointly' owned house.

goddessofsmallthings Sat 01-Aug-15 03:49:14

Your last sentence doesn't make sense. Are you saying that he sent someone to your jointly owned house? If so, report any such approach(es) by others which you believe to be at his institgation to the police.

His bail conditions may be serving to protect and your dc at the present time, but have you been advised to seek occupation and non-molestation orders and do you have DV abuse liaison officer or support worker?

Please don't consider attempting to drop the charges that have been made against him and, if you haven't done so already, please make sure that his dd's mother is aware of the incident you've described in which he verbally and physically assaulted their child.

If he is convicted it's to be hoped he will be dismissed from his job and, if not, that questions will be asked in council chambers/the local press.

notrocketscience Sat 01-Aug-15 08:34:40

I want to reiterate the wise words from Goddess. The scenario you described with that poor little 4 year old has bothered me all night. If I was her mother I'd damn well want to know and there is no way he'd be having unsupervised access and doing so much damage. You must let the mother know if you haven't already done so.
As he has a 4 yo with someone else then your relationship must be a fairly new one with very small babes. Don't be letting him have access to them either unless highly supervised at some later stage in their lives.
The police will protect you and if there is already an harassment notice in force then you let them know and he will be arrested. No need to live in fear.

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