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Just lost another 'friendship'.

(5 Posts)
floatyflo Mon 27-Jul-15 14:32:08

I say friendship like that because I know I was more emotionally invested in it. The support and effort I offered wasn't reciprocated equally. I valued it more.

I can't go into too much detail but basically I did something that wasn't my place to do but I thought I was helping. I had nothing but good intentions. Now it's been taken the wrong way and basically I think she has ended the friendship over it. I think she thinks she can't trust me.

I feel really upset at this as she 100% can. But then I feel angry because if she knew me properly (and bothered to show an interest in me occasionally) she would know I had nothing malicious and two faced going on at all.

Sorry for the rambling riddle. I just need somewhere to put this down. I just always mess my relationships up. Especially friendships. And I have rubbish relationships with my close family too. Feeling alone. And very sad. I try to be kind and good to people but eventually it gets thrown back in my face.

pocketsaviour Mon 27-Jul-15 14:35:23

basically I did something that wasn't my place to do but I thought I was helping. I had nothing but good intentions.

I just always mess my relationships up. Especially friendships. And I have rubbish relationships with my close family too.

Do you think that you have a problem with boundaries? It sounds like you have over-stepped a boundary with your friend and she has withdrawn as a result. I am wondering what lessons you learned about boundaries as a child?

FolkGirl Mon 27-Jul-15 14:50:20

You sound very upset by this, but it sounds to me as though you crossed a boundary too.

I would end a friendship if someone trampled over my boundaries (just thinking of a very recent situation where I did).

If it's not your place to do something, then don't.

floatyflo Mon 27-Jul-15 14:59:49

Thanks for your replies but I have asked for this post to be deleted. I worry the timing of will out me and I'm too upset to handle the replies. I can't take it today. Thank you anyway I'm not very strong.

goddessofsmallthings Mon 27-Jul-15 15:12:36

Be kind to yourself, honey - it sounds as if you're coming from a place of emotional neediness which may cause you to be too eager to please others and which may lead to you unintentionally crossing a line with no malice aforethought simply because you're trying to be ultra helpful.

Please post again when you feel up to it as you will find support here. In the meantime don't discount the possibility that others see your kindness as weakness and some may take advantage of it to further their own ends.

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