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Please let me get it off of my chest. (long)

(9 Posts)
foundmykey Sun 26-Jul-15 10:54:34

I'm sorry if this makes no sense. Please just let me get this off of my chest. It may be a bit of a drip feed not much detail (I'm sorry). I will appreciate any responses but forgive me if I don't give any more information other than in my op I really don't want to be identified. I've also nc.

I'm so confused

Like so many I've been through alot. I've worked on myself and continue to do so. I went through a period of not trusting anyone. However earlier in the year I met someone who seemed different to most of the men I've dated. Rather we were more compatible.

He is a really nice man but it seems he has now backed off, just as I was beginning to believe that we could make things work. I was hesitant to begin with and didn't rush into things with him. Just spent time getting to know each other and didn't sleep together until we'd been dating for almost 4 months (just wanted to make sure that the connection was more than a physical one).

I think he's realised that he's just not ready to be in a relationship. For some reason I've not heard from him in almost two weeks. I did send him a message just asking how he is but he hasn't responded.
I will eventually move on but what upsets me is the fact that for the first time in 10 years I thought that I had finally found someone that I could be with. I went with the flow of things and opened myself up to the possibility of a serious relationship.
I would find it so much easier if he would tell me himself what he wants but as he won't say anything I am left to jump to my own conclusions. Which I know are probably alot worse than the simple truth that he probably just isn't ready.

I just feel so rejected
So deflated
So disappointed

I wrote it here so that I don't make myself look like a desperate fool by telling him.

Thank you for reading.

CocktailQueen Sun 26-Jul-15 11:02:53

Ether he's ready or not for a relationship, there's no excuse for not telling you how he feels and ending it! What is he, twelve? I'm very sorry it's ended like this. You will find someone lovely and worth your love and trust. Hugs. Xx

midnightvelvetPart2 Sun 26-Jul-15 11:10:14

The thing that jumps out for me is the timing, how close was the sleeping together & then the not responding? Is it possible that he never wanted a serious relationship?

Chin up love, he wasn't the last smile there will be others & you do have to open yourself up & sometimes it doesn't work when you want it to, but sometimes it does. Its just that this one wasn't going to work & you did nothing wrong, its not your fault. Forget about him x

foundmykey Sun 26-Jul-15 13:02:32

Thank you both very much smile

rouxlebandit Sun 26-Jul-15 17:10:35

I'm a man who's not had a lot of experience of dating but I've been married for over 30 years. Try to think of the 4 months you spent with this man as something positive and enjoyable even though it didn't last. Be strong, confident, happy; love yourself and others. Sorry must go now but I'll be back.

Ivyniris Sun 26-Jul-15 17:20:05

4 months in the grand scheme on things is nothing. Were you ever officially together??

AcrossthePond55 Sun 26-Jul-15 17:33:39

Even though it didn't work out, please, please take pride in the fact that you were able to step out of your comfort zone. That's a big step!

For now, just try to be happy and focus on the idea that you didn't invest any more time in a relationship with someone who wasn't able to appreciate you.

foundmykey Sun 26-Jul-15 17:55:55

Thank you very much for your replies. We were seeing each other for almost 4 months before we slept together and seeing each other for just over 6 months in total.

Yes we were officially together.

I'm licking my wounds that's all and needed to rant.

Again I appreciate all of your responses.

CitySnicker Sun 26-Jul-15 18:00:35

If I were you, after checking he hadnt been hit by a bus or something, I would be thanking my lucky stars I was shot of someone like that. After 6 months...nothing. What a sod!

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