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Secret sister

(4 Posts)
Emma311092 Fri 24-Jul-15 22:31:58

Well about 2 weeks ago I found out that I have a 30 year old sister that I didn't even now existed I found out by reading a letter she sent to our father he has never mentioned her or anything he still doesn't know that I now about her and I'm now having to hide the fact from my brother I just feel now that my entire life has been a whole lie and the fact that my father and I haven't always had the best relationship I'm wondering if the fact that he had a secret daughter is the reason why I have never felt that close to him do I just remind him of her ? I'm very close to my brother and keeping this from him is killing me but now only that do I reach out to her knowing she's out there and is my flesh and blood I don't now whether I can keep my distance any advice would be amazing.

DeckSwabber Fri 24-Jul-15 22:37:45

Are you able to talk to your dad about this?

Did you get the sense that your dad is/was in any kind of touch with her?

goddessofsmallthings Fri 24-Jul-15 22:49:08

How much older than you is your new found sister and does your dm know about her?

Tell your father that you've read the letter your (presumably half) sister sent to him. If he asks you to keep her existence secret from your brother tell him you've got no intention of doing so and that you intend to reach out to her if he doesn't take steps to introduce her to the pair of you.

Your life has not been a lie anymore than hers has, but now that you know about her there's no reason why you should stay hidden from each other.

Wonderous Fri 24-Jul-15 23:02:14

You need to talk to your dad. He needs to explain everything to both you and your brother and why it was kept secret.

I had a secret sister that I found out about on my father's deathbed and also found out I have another sibling (gender unknown) in a foreign country. I have now met my elder sister after some searching and although we're not massively close I'm glad she's in my life. The other sibling will probably never be in a position to trace me or me them. It's very strange knowing there's part of me out there who I know nothing about.

Secrets in a family can be destructive so you need to talk to your dad. Pm me if you want to talk more and best of luck x

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