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What would you think if OW text this?

(164 Posts)
lilybutton Fri 24-Jul-15 17:59:33

Just found 4 years worth of messages between DH and his colleague.

Very flirty on both sides both way out of line but impossible to tell if anything ever happened but they both obviously wanted it to.

I have just messaged her to tell her what I have seen and she replied that she takes 100% responsibility and that he loves me.

He is denying everything.

Feel so sick he is coming home from work now to talk about it.

Milllii Fri 24-Jul-15 18:00:49

Horrible for you. When was the last text sent?

IcecreamHavoc Fri 24-Jul-15 18:01:03

She loves him. Hopes he'll go back to her. Has had bump on head and realises she has done wrong and is trying not to ruin your marriage more.

Fugghetaboutit Fri 24-Jul-15 18:01:39

She sounds more decent than him

Milllii Fri 24-Jul-15 18:02:02

He is denying it because he is panicking.

SuffolkNWhat Fri 24-Jul-15 18:02:16

Unless she sent all the messages, including the ones from him, how can she accept 100% responsibility?

lilybutton Fri 24-Jul-15 18:04:58

The last messages were about 2 weeks ago.

She said he loves me? Maybe nothing was going on and just flirty messages?

butterflygirl15 Fri 24-Jul-15 18:05:56

I wouldn't trust anything she says.

Finola1step Fri 24-Jul-15 18:06:41

Honestly? She's got something big to lose. She wants you to think its all a joke, all her fault, nothing happened etc etc. She's hoping you fall for it because she doesn't want you to get all angry and tell people. So she's married, in a relationship or worried that she could lose her job.

Another possibility is that she loves him and is doing what he has told her to do.

Sorry but either way looks bad. 4 years of flirting - I don't buy it. I think you have to prepare yourself that there is much more to come.

lilybutton Fri 24-Jul-15 18:09:07

She has just left her husband :0(

PotatoesPastaAndBread Fri 24-Jul-15 18:09:18

She knows her best chance of keeping a relationship with your H is to help him out.

Don't think about her. Think about you.

Wishing you strength for what's to come flowers

MagicalMrsMistoffelees Fri 24-Jul-15 18:11:12

Well what do they say? Is it things like, 'I really fancy you' or 'you looked good in that dress today' or 'I hate my wife' or 'let's go for a drink after work'? Or are they just chatty?

How did you find them?

He'll be getting his story straight on his way home so don't expect the truth.

Milllii Fri 24-Jul-15 18:11:56

She has obviously spoke to him and they have decided upon a story to tell you . As someone else has said, please be prepared for more to come out over the next week.

lilybutton Fri 24-Jul-15 18:12:06

He says there is no relationship and so does she though. The last few weeks of messages are not flirty she is saying she is down and he is just offering to help her?

ENormaSnob Fri 24-Jul-15 18:12:13

What finola said.

And be prepared.

Very very unlikely to be 4 years worth of just flirting.

Enoughalreadyyou Fri 24-Jul-15 18:12:15

While you still have some of your wits about you tell him he has one chance to tell you the truth.

Don't let him lie. He's making up stories now as he is on his way home. He's already denied it the fool.

RepeatAdNauseum Fri 24-Jul-15 18:13:12

Yep, don't fall into the trap of thinking that she's telling you the truth now. She has no need to have you on side.

She does, however, have to minimise damage for your DH, and to say what she thinks he'd want her to say. So she's just adopted part of his script for you.

He'll be full of more of the same. Eventually, he'll probably admit to more than just flirting. You might be able to speed that up by saying that you've already spoken to her and she's told you everything, but it'll depend if she spoke to him straight away once you'd talked to her.

I'm so sorry. It must hurt, a lot, and you'll be tempted to minimise (as will he). You need the truth to move on, remember that. All the best flowers

lilybutton Fri 24-Jul-15 18:13:14

They are mainly chatty/friendly or about work with flirtation.

He has told me in the past he had met up with her but now I am wondering if he was just covering himself?

Enoughalreadyyou Fri 24-Jul-15 18:13:36

She is whitewashing. She's taken a cowards way out by telling you what you want to hear. She's frightened and she's married.

Milllii Fri 24-Jul-15 18:14:00

So what was the tone of these inapproptiate texts? What was said between them that caused you to post?

lilybutton Fri 24-Jul-15 18:14:36

I have always really liked her she is a normal girl not bitchy and got on well with her if see her at work things etc.

She is a girls girl. I am so shocked.

Well actually something has been niggling I suppose now I think of it for a year or so but thought I was imagining it.

ShebaShimmyShake Fri 24-Jul-15 18:16:03

Well that was magnanimous of her.

Milllii Fri 24-Jul-15 18:16:06

lily you said that they were flirty texts and that they both obviously wanted something to happen so must have been more to it

Enoughalreadyyou Fri 24-Jul-15 18:16:18

Maybe that was why she seemed so nice to you.

Enoughalreadyyou Fri 24-Jul-15 18:16:54

You are already minimising. Stop it.

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