I have always been the kind of person that likes being in a relationship, I hate being alone and feel worthless and miserable when I'm single. At the same time I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want a future with me, I don't do 'casual' dating very well.
Been with DP on and off for 2 yrs, before that I was with ExH for years but I broke up with him as he was neglectful and a drug addict.
Things with DP were hard at first as I was quite emotionally broken after my breakup with ExH amongst other things and it culminated in DP cheating on me about a year ago. We did eventually get back together but I find even though I have forgiven him for it and I understand his reasons at the time, I'm having trouble getting over it completely. I don't like to admit it but I still have real trust issues which DP doesn't help sometimes when we goes out and refuses to tell me where he is - I'm 99% sure he is with friends etc but he does it just to wind me up and I hate it because it makes me so upset and nervous after what happened before.
This and other things makes me worried that we won't have a future together. I sometimes look at other couples that seem really happy and it's not that I'm unhappy with DP but I can't help but feel like we don't have what they have and never will. I don't feel like he's 'the one', he's admitted in the past (possibly as a joke but I'm not sure) that he doesn't think we will last, which makes me feel really shitty.
We don't have a lot in common, no real common interests, often when I try to talk to him about things that interest me that he isn't interested in he just says that he doesn't care or doesn't want to talk about that which ends the conversation pretty much straight away.
That having said I do love him so much I just don't know if I can live the rest of my life with him in this way.
Also, it sounds awful but I have to think practically as well and in the horrible event that DP and I did split, I won't have anywhere to go. DP and I live together, I do work but only part time as I am going to uni in September and I can't increase my hours. I can't afford to live on my own and I have no one else I can live with but that seems like an awful reason to stay with someone (not saying that is the only reason I am staying with him but I have to factor it in).
Don't know what to do :(
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Relationships
Don't know what to do with DP but I don't know if we have a future.
20 replies
Sinkingships · 24/07/2015 16:05
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