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upset at old fling after seeing his baby on fb

(4 Posts)
petshopboy Fri 24-Jul-15 13:22:05

hi 4 yrs ago i had a 6 week fling with a guy of od it didnt work out he was lazy and cheating no work awful with money had a temper not too me btw but still was quite fond of him despite it but i ended it thank god .anyway a couple of days ago he popped up on facebook just on people u may know there was a picture of his new baby and i actually felt jealous and gutted i was surprised at my reaction i just think its were im unhappy now
i met my current partner 2 mths been together 3 yrs im after still with him now although a couple of problems including a broken engagement ive took my ring off nearly split up etc i want 1 more kid but im 39 and have health problems money problems etc lifes passing me by ive got so many problems
just feel really down at the moment and very broody

pallasathena Fri 24-Jul-15 14:10:03

Its called going around in circles! you didn't want him, now he's got someone and a baby, you want what he's got and you think that if you revisited that part of your life, all would be wonderful. But it won't.

You know it won't!

Instead of fantasising about what other people have, why not make things happen for yourself?

You're in control of your own life you know. Take some positive action. If you need to get out of the relationship you're in, make plans to do just that. If money's the issue, what can you do to become better paid?

I don't want to sound harsh but life isn't a fairy tale. We make our choices and decisions and if we opt for what's easiest or just tolerable then that's what life gives us...if you want more what are you going to do to get it?

petshopboy Fri 24-Jul-15 15:05:32

no i would never go back there i was very vunrable at the time and had lost a parent was grieving no support just wanted affection but he was kind of abusive

i actually feel sorry for the baby having a dad like him although he might step up to the plate

what i was trying to say is how unexpected my feelings were and has made me think about babies again /my life in a depressing way

FolkGirl Fri 24-Jul-15 19:19:55

I'm not sure you know someone you had a 6wk fling with 4 years ago to comment on whether he'll be a good father or not.

This isn't about him really, is it? It's up to you how you choose to respond to seeing a picture of him and the feelings it has raised in you.
So, it could actually be quite fortuitous.

You don't describe a happy relationship. I would choose to see it as the universe sending me a kick up the arse to sort out my own life rather than get upset and cast aspersions on him.

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