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Former close friend too flirty

(3 Posts)
M0llyWaugh Thu 23-Jul-15 17:51:29

Me and my boyfriend broke up briefly a few months ago, we quickly got back together and things are back on track. The only issue that has arisen at the moment is to do with one of his close females friends. This girl was my very good friend before she was friends with my boyfriend, she slowly became closer with him along with two other girls and a boy and they became a tight knit group. When me and my boyfriend broke up the friendship just fizzled out between me adnd her with out without reason, it felt like she suddenly wasn't interested. Recently her and my boyfriend have become particularly close, as they have formed a sort of 'support system' relationship. This is irritating but fair enough, the thing that bothers me is that she is always too touchy with him always pulling him into private at parties to talk. I thought i was being over sensitive until other people began to notice it too. I was afraid to confront my boyfriend knowing he was most likely going to take her side. When i did confront them they said they are nothing but friends, she is upset about her ex boyfriend and he is helping her. They both suggested i didnt trust them, but i do trust my boyfriend and want to trust her very much considering we were such good friends. I told my boyfriend i dont mind them being friends i just mind about her respecting boundaries. This hurts most of all because she was my friend before that and i feel so ganged up on by them. This girl has also told me herself she slept with one of her past friends boyfriends. Making me feel more and more paranoid.

Rivercam Thu 23-Jul-15 17:58:04

Having close friends of the opposite sex is not a problem.

However, the private talks could be a problem, and possibly, an emotional relationship,is,being formed, even though your be is not aware of it.

It's a tricky situation, you don't epwant to be seen as the controlling girlfriend, but you don't want to let things go further either.

Maybe when these private talks go on, go and join in the conversation. Make your presence felt.

If your boyfri d is open and honest about meetings, you should be fine. If he starts being secretive, then that would indicate a red flag,

Joysmum Thu 23-Jul-15 18:36:10

I told my boyfriend i dont mind them being friends i just mind about her respecting boundaries

Actually no, your issue here is about HIM respecting boundaries.

For him to respect them, you need to make it clear what they we and how you feel. You can't dictate friendships but you can expect him to show you some consideration.

Your issue here is you being clear with him and then him being clear with her.

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