Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Ex wishes to enjoy his own property

(15 Posts)
AFriendInNeedIndeed Wed 22-Jul-15 21:58:05

Name change due to sensitive subject. I'm asking on behalf of a friend who is currently really worried and very upset indeed. I have her permission to post but have edited her bumf so it can't be too identifiable as this area can be googled.

The quick synopsis without going into to much detail is this:

Husband of 20+ years leaves to live with someone attached to his work. Leaves wife with 17 yr old daughter in house jointly owned. He looses job because of new relationship. He blames wife. He tells her she is overhoused but he will let her live there if she pays whole mortgage. He wants to force her to sell when daughter finishes first part of diploma. Wife asks for contribution to mortgage so he tells her he is technically allowed to enjoy his own property and if wife wants half mortgage then he will give notice that he and his new girlfriend may wish to take up residence.

Is there anything she can do to stop this? it would be her worst nightmare to have to deal with this as with all relationships, they are quite firmly in the honeymoon period. Please note if I'm asked to give any more details, I will have to check with my friend before I post.

If you can offer any experience or advice, please help as my friend is in bits.

UncertainSmile Wed 22-Jul-15 22:02:56

She needs to speak to a solicitor.

CQ Wed 22-Jul-15 22:04:42

Have a look at the CAB advice page - it looks like he does have a right to move back in but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have the right to bring his new girlfriend too, if the co-owner refuses.

She needs to call CAB in the morning.

Bluetonic123 Wed 22-Jul-15 22:09:27

I think he has as much right to be there as she does legally, if not morally. Especially as their daughter is almost legally an adult. Perhaps it would be better for the wife to agree to sell so she can be rid of him and she can cut him out and start over

Snapespeare Wed 22-Jul-15 22:11:51

No helpful advice, but your friends husband is an absolute cunt.

Stitchintime1 Wed 22-Jul-15 22:15:02

Solicitor. And she should stop talking to him. Or listening to him.

AFriendInNeedIndeed Wed 22-Jul-15 22:15:05

She does have a solicitor but she's still waiting for a call back (told her to get a rottie!!) It's interesting to know that the girlfriend cannot move in without the co-owners permission - am texting her now!! Will also tell her to contact CAB in the morning. Thank you vipers!

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Wed 22-Jul-15 22:22:14

He's probably not such as an attractive prospect to the OW now that he's jobless. What an absolute arsehole he is. Why is he blaming his wife for him losing his job?

She needs legal advice and quickly. I fear she won't be able to stop him living in the house he co-owns and I sincerely hope the threat of moving the OW in is an empty one. Can she afford to pay the mortgage on her own without any contribution from him?

I think she should get the house valued asap, so if she pays the whole mortgage on her own, she might not want hm to have a share of any equity built up while she's paying it until it's sold.

In order to force a sale he'd have to apply to the court and that can be very costly. Not necessarily a step he might be able to take while he has no income.

Stitchintime1 Wed 22-Jul-15 22:27:37

I can't imagine the OW even wanting to move in.

Stitchintime1 Wed 22-Jul-15 22:28:33

if she was feeling robust, she could have a lot of fun with that one.

AFriendInNeedIndeed Wed 22-Jul-15 22:29:51

And agree. A total midlife crisis cunt. I can't post pertinent details but needless to say the DD's pedestal has been shattered, professional reps have been destroyed and it's all got a bit dirty and to the dogs.

At least she has friends. And in droves.

DayLillie Wed 22-Jul-15 22:30:06

I know someone from a long term marriage who decided to save money (he had loads of it and was keeping it!) by staying in the family house throughout the divorce (thankfully without the other woman). Eldest came home from uni with mumps. Didn't see him for dust.

Vaccines can fail??? hmm [hopeful]

goddessofsmallthings Thu 23-Jul-15 05:01:13

Unless she is in possession of an occupation order, your friend can't stop the co-owner of her house returning to it nor can she stop him inviting guests into it or object to them staying overnight.

But she can invite her own hunky guy guest to stay overnight and she should instruct a SHL of the rottweiler persuasion as the CAB are rarely up to scratch in marital disputes of this nature nor will they act for her, or him for that matter.

everynameseemstobetaken Fri 24-Jul-15 11:50:09

Is there some rule about once a person has left the home for six months following a marital/relationship split they are assumed to have given up the right to reside in it? I have a vague memory of seeing this somewhere? I may be completely wrong though.

Lweji Fri 24-Jul-15 12:07:04

Personally, I'd change the locks (I know, not legal) and let him sweat the legal orders.

AFAIK, though, he can force the sale of the house.

But it all depends on the financial agreement upon the divorce. Have they started the process yet?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now