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What can I do?

(5 Posts)
maryclarey Wed 22-Jul-15 21:42:48

My poor sister, I've posted about her before, attempted suicide 2 months ago. She's been in hospital and was discharged last week and was seemingly much brighter.

Immediately she spiralled down again, shut down and started trying to stockpile meds, self harming so much and trying to refuse help from her team and visits and contact from me. Her crisis workers are all over it and she's now been re admitted. Which is good for now as they can watch her but what about when they discharge her again? I don't know what to do, she is suffering so so much.

I tell her I love her, I'm here, she can call me if she feels suicidal, I'll be there, followed all the advice I've been given but try not to pressure her but just to reiterate I am here. We live on opposite sides of a big city and I would have her here but she won't come and her team are there so that won't even work.

None of it is enough, and I just fear this will all end with the worst outcome. Our parents still have not seen her, I think this is part of the problem right now for her she is so disappointed in my father. I have cut contact with them for now myself because I just can't anymore, the excuses make me so angry. There is backstory I've mentioned before, I blame my mother for all this and she has recently said she was sexually abused as a child and this is why she was the way she was but I don't want to hear it.

How can I help my sister? I feel so desperate sad I just want to make it better. I know people will say just keep being there. Can anyone tell me of having come back from being this? Sorry if this is garbled, I've had two glasses of wine and am full of anxiety and worry.

rumred Wed 22-Jul-15 22:09:38

Sounds like a desperate situation. But you can't save her, as much as you want to. Best to ensure her mental health support - team, social workers etc- know that she's deteriorating. They can offer services and targeted support. Please speak to local emergency services if you're worried tonight. And get support for yourself, you're going through the shit too

maryclarey Wed 22-Jul-15 22:23:54

Thanks for responding Rumred

She is safe for now but I just see she is stuck on this merry go round and I don't know what to do to make a difference. I will persevere of course and I guess I was just hoping to hear that it is possible to come back from this. I know she wants to when things don't feel so hopeless but right now there is nothing to hang on to and nothing I say or do seems to help when she feels this way. I understand why of course but it doesn't stop me wanting to change that for her.

rumred Wed 22-Jul-15 22:31:28

Completely understandable . Hopefully someone with useful advice will come along soon. In the meantime look after yourself best you can, that's important

maryclarey Wed 22-Jul-15 22:45:39

I am fine because dsis needs me to be fine for her. I have DP's support thank goodness but the thought of her not being here just sends me into a total panic. It's a selfish thing really. I need her to stay here but that's nothing more than more pressure for her to hang on when she feels unable to. I can't believe this is where we are mid-thirties, I hoped we would have left this all behind by now.

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