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How to move on

(5 Posts)
TheCatCameBackAgain Wed 22-Jul-15 13:41:17

I found out recently that my husband had a fling at work about 18 months ago. I got a message from a woman he used to work with on facebook and so confronted him and he admitted it. He said it was a huge mistake and he regretted it so much.

He said she chased after him all the time, sometimes flirting and then being nasty and saying he was gay! For some reason he gave into this and they had sex somewhere at work (classy eh?), he realised it was a mistake but she kept saying she would tell me and work if he didn't continue, so it happened a few more times. She kept chasing him and then she left work but continued to phone him and ask him to be with her and when he refused being abusive and threatening him. It all came to a head recently when she said she wanted him to leave his family for her. He went round to see her to tell her to stop it once and for all. She then did what she had threatened to do and promptly found me on facebook and messaged me but told me she never wanted to see him again and that I must keep him away from her confused.

Anyway I am still in shock and don't know what to do. he seems really sorry and regretful and he says he is glad it is all out in the open because he hated deceiving me (well he shouldn't have bloody done it then...)

I have always said I would never put up with cheating but even though I hate him at the moment, I do still love him and I don't want to rip our family apart, it would be devastating for our children.

Have any of you got past cheating? I don't know what to do.

DeanParrish Wed 22-Jul-15 13:50:03

I never got over my exH's cheating. I'm only sorry I tried to make a go of the marriage but it was like flogging the dead horse. Plus he cheated again ( and again) so if he is a cheater now he will probably always be.
Plus plus, my ExH still wanted to be married to me but have his occasional shag as and when he could.

arsenaltilidie Wed 22-Jul-15 13:59:35

I don't know any many that has cheated in the past and stopped.

Anniegetyourgun Wed 22-Jul-15 14:04:05

Hmm... when she contacted you, did she admit she had done all this chasing and threatening and had asked him to leave his family for her? Or is that just the explanation from the party of the second part?

TheCatCameBackAgain Wed 22-Jul-15 14:06:57

She didn't say much at all, just that he had been to see her and now she didn't want to see him again. I just have his side of the the story. he had talked about her previously and said she was mixed up and that nobody at work liked her. That was before any of this happened.

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