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feeling lonely and I have lost my mojo :(

(10 Posts)
ggg123 Tue 21-Jul-15 22:51:47

I have completely given up hope with dating (5 years on) I have so many barriers I sometimes think I've lost my sparkle to feel! I have been through so much with the divorce, unsupportive ex, unsupportive employer, financial difficulties, being a single mum, a super rubbish family, and endless dating rejections and find myself sat here alone crying into my wine glass sad seriously not looking for sympathy just feel so so lonely and selfishly feel like I can't see happy anymore. Someone has stole my positive and I can't get it back. I have so much to be grateful for, I am so grateful just feel lonely. The ex has stopped seeing my daughter's and its hard doing it all alone. I think I'm wondering if there is anyone out there in the same position.

muchhappierthesedays Tue 21-Jul-15 23:07:52

Oh love, I can feel your pain. I'm not in exactly the same circumstances but am a single mum of two doing it pretty much on my own as well. Some days it is so overwhelming I struggle to put one foot in front of the other. Most of the time I am happy to be on my own, but them, when the dds are in bed I get hit with the sledgehammer of loneliness and it hurts. I totally get what you mean about losing your sparkle-I can't imagine what anyone would see in me, which sounds self-pitying but I think I have taken such an emotional battering I no longer know how to be the me I was many years ago.
I have no answer but just wanted to say you're not alone

ladymargaret Tue 21-Jul-15 23:23:23

When I feel crap and down I found that physical exercise enormously helps me to get the inner strength back and start seeing the life again in a more positive light. Also, talking to positive supportive people or to someone who makes you laugh.

goddessofsmallthings Wed 22-Jul-15 05:31:27

The Turn! Turn! Turn! (to everything there is a season) song comes to mind.

This is the time when your metaphorical field lies fallow in order to renew itself for future crops. A fallow field looks bleak and empty, but below the surface the earth is regenerating itself in order to nurture and sustain new growth.

Stay grateful, give thanks for what you have every day, and use this time to connect with that part of you which contains all of the wisdom you have acquired in this life and, according to some, other lives too.

Nature abhors a vacuum and you can rest assured that new interests and new people will manifest in your life when it is their time to do so.

Of course there's no reason why you shouldn't give nature hand by checking out mumsnet local and meetup.com as these sites can be valuable aids to ending feelings of lonlieness. smile

shovetheholly Wed 22-Jul-15 08:25:47

I know this is the absolutely obvious thing to say in the situation (and I apologise for that) but have you considered going to your GP? You sound depressed to me - and no wonder with everything you've been through. A bit of help might give you the chink of light and hope you need to start building towards a future.

On a more personal note, the fact that you've held things together through all of that is testament to your strength. You sound exhausted, to be honest. Perhaps your body and mind are just telling you to take a bit of time out for a while, to focus on yourself rather than on dating and other things from the 'outside world'!!

ggg123 Wed 22-Jul-15 08:50:56

Thankyou all for your replies smile
I fell asleep lastnight. Sometimes that is easier. Girls are up early and its the school hols. Can you believe its raining again!
Its hard isn't it sad bless you. Lets find our sparkle together?!
I try to stay as grateful as possible. Especially when I just want to sleep so I don't feel sometimes. I suddenly try and think don't be selfish look at what you have!
I have been to the doctor and he just handed me medication and I know that works for some but I need a life change but in a rut because I don't get support and financially struggling and I don't have many friends (I sound so sad) maybe I need to look at those sites smile
I am exhausted mentally. I have definitely put dating to one side as I'm completely done with that. I will never trust anyone again.
Thankyou all for listening to me be a Mrs Grumps. I'm sorry!

Munchkin08 Wed 22-Jul-15 11:07:17

Hi I feel the same and am struggling with the thought of keeping everyone entertained for the summer holidays ��. My youngest does see her dad every two weeks and I used to always go out but my friends met someone and now I'm finding I'm spending the weekend sitting in alone. Everyone suggests OLD but I just don't feel comfortable doing it - I just like going out in the RW and socialising - the more I stay in the harder it is for me to get the motivation to go out. I've decided to give up drinking at home, so I feel alert when I'm woken up at 6 in the morning �� and am trying to stay positive x

swisscheesetony Wed 22-Jul-15 13:02:40

Yes. No family. No partner. No money. No health. No friends.

Just another 40 years to go.

Today has been a hard one, I've been in floods of tears all day and I feel so lonely and shit that I wonder if the best thing I can do is give the DC's to someone who can look after them.

I have nothing to offer.

I'm lonely.

My STBXH is living the live of Riley and in the last 2 weeks has halved his contact time, I expect him to reduce it further still as it'll cut right into his new life.

ggg123 Wed 22-Jul-15 13:19:54

I'm sorry guys. I know I'm not alone!
I have tried online dating and in my opinion it made me feel worse. Others may say different.
We have been having a bedroom sort out and now going to watch a film. Keeping busy helps but I know this can be difficult with no mojo.
Well I have eaten like a pig in 3 days and haven't run once as the girls are home and opened the wine last night. All not a good mix.
Some sun would be nice so at least we can get out?!

Munchkin08 Thu 23-Jul-15 08:14:32

Ggg I think that's the answer keeping busy and planning things so you have something to look forward to even if it's just meeting up with someone - I also need to have a big sort out and clear out the wardrobes. I've got in too much of a habit opening the wine which is while I am going to really cut down in the week - I also want to loose a few pounds. I'm fine during the day but the loneliness does cheap in at night x

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