Exdp shows almost no emotion. Never has done really.
When we first got together he was happy. We were both happy but over time I realised he never complained about anything but also he never praised anything.
When the dc came along that's when his inability to care for my emotional needs became a massive problem for me.
The only time I seen him cry was at his mum's funeral.
When our dc were born it was like it wasn't a big deal.
When he was made redundant he was almost blasé.
When our dd became ill he ignored it. When i graduated from Uni he didn't congratulate me.
But he never said bad stuff either so he's never told me to shut up-ever!
He's never ever shouted.
We've never had a proper row
I don't know if this post is making any sense. Has anyone else come across a do like this?
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Levismum · 19/07/2015 20:57
There were never conversations. He would /couldnt have a conversation about anything other than day to day stuff.
He'd say ,'I don't know' or 'I'm not bothered',
'I'm trying', were the general responses I got to questions about, marriage, children, buying a house , what to have for dinner or what shall we do regarding our disabled dc
Ultimately I realised I had to look after the dc & I. He let me down whenever I needed him. He was incapable of supporting me.
Had we been dealt a kinder hand by life, I wouldn't have needed his support, as I am very strong.
Life was very beige. We did nothing together. Never had a conversation. Had no interests together, friends or hobbies.
He was and still isn't a good dad.
I feel incredibly guilty about the dc.
But I've always wondered if it's more common then I think & there must be other people in a similar situation.
Thanks pocketsaviour I've come across 'blunted affect' but only very briefly.
Sadly reading that link makes sense.
God knows, I wish I'd known 16 years ago What I know now. I've wasted the best years of my life with this person.
The most important cements reduced to nothing. Such a waste.
Oh my goodness Levismum, I got goosebumps when I read your post !! -
it could have been written by me about my exH ! Even down to the one word answers and not doing jobs about the house
My exH was just as you described yours. I saw him as a rational, reasonable well-balanced person, (and that's what attracted me to him in the first instance) but he never argued (used to walk away) and he just couldn't get excited about anything.
I worked so hard to try and make him happy but it was like pouring water down a bottomless pit.
He never wanted to visit his parents (who lived in a different city to us) and I couldn't understand why, and he wouldn't tell me. Once he told me briefly about his mother threatening his father with a hammer when he was about 7, so I now suspect he had an abusive childhood.
His sister seemed quite well-balanced, though.
When I finally put my foot down and told him things had to change his response was to have an affair with a girl at work, and I divorced him.
Now she's his problem. How she puts up with him I don't know but she had an abusive childhood so maybe they are two of a kind.
Pocket saviour - thanks for the link ! 
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