Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Has anyone ever successfully managed to get their DH to slow down driving?

(33 Posts)
countryandchickens Sun 19-Jul-15 20:13:33

I have quite severe motion sickness and it's uncomfortable for me when DH is driving as he goes too fast and takes bends too sharply.

Problem is, I am conscious no one likes a backseat driver.

How do you broach this in a way that doesn't sound like you're just nagging/whining?

YokoUhOh Sun 19-Jul-15 20:17:21

Perhaps vomiting all over the car? grin

I would ask him to pull over, very politely. I'd then spend a good half hour pretending to dry-retch into a ditch, followed by a calm explanation that his driving has made me sick.

Creatureofthenight Sun 19-Jul-15 20:22:09

I would say "Can we go a bit slower please, I'm feeling sick".
That generally works for me.

countryandchickens Sun 19-Jul-15 20:31:09

The problem is, he will slow down but then speed up again moments later, which means I can spend longer journeys doing nothing but moaning and it makes me feel like such a nag.

RiverTam Sun 19-Jul-15 20:36:05

Do you not drive yourself? Because that would be the best solution.

headlesslambrini Sun 19-Jul-15 20:37:45

Book him onto a speed awareness course for his birthday grin

Creatureofthenight Sun 19-Jul-15 20:39:02

If it's a choice between nagging and chucking, I have no problem nagging!

Madlizzy Sun 19-Jul-15 20:39:58

I told DH that if he wants to drive like a dick, then he does it when no one else is in the car.

DorisLessingsCat Sun 19-Jul-15 20:40:09

Yes. But it took a threat of divorce. I was deadly serious btw.

Botanicbaby Sun 19-Jul-15 20:40:58

You say you are conscious that no one likes 'nagging or whining' (are they his words btw?) but is he aware that you get motion sickness and feel uncomfortable?

I'd stop being his passenger if he didn't listen to me, I hate it when drivers go too fast! Seriously just have a word with him. If he doesn't listen or accuses you of nagging etc then you have bigger problems than car sickness I'm afraid.

Ouchbloodyouch Sun 19-Jul-15 20:43:57

Is he breaking the speed limit?

countryandchickens Sun 19-Jul-15 21:02:21

Thanks smile

Ouch we live rurally and it tends to be where it's NSL but not really safe to do so if that makes sense.

River I do drive but not his car.

Ouchbloodyouch Sun 19-Jul-15 21:33:38

Can you refuse to go in his car because of the way he drives?

countryandchickens Sun 19-Jul-15 21:45:50

I could but it would be difficult to put into practice.

andthenagain Sun 19-Jul-15 21:57:06

Yep, l stormed out of the car when it was stopped at traffic lights somewhere in Oregon in the USA, I didn't have a clue where we were and l refused to go back in again.
We were following his BIL who was driving like an idiot but there was no need for DH to act in the same way even if we did lose him.
After about 20 mins l got back in and told him if he ever drove like that again l wouldn't get back in the car with him driving.
20 years later l am still his passenger

countryandchickens Sun 19-Jul-15 22:01:43

Weren't you worried he'd drive off? shock

Grewupinafield Sun 19-Jul-15 22:02:31

We had a major motorway accident (tyre blew, no ones fault) we nearly died, nearly lost the baby I was carrying. I have a massive fear of motorways and fast driving.

DH understands, never whinges if I ask him to slow down. He is amazing when I have panic attacks. He knows how hard long journeys are for me. He never drives over 80 and that's only when the motorway is clear of all other cars. Tells me when he's going to overtake and he pretty much sticks to 70 at all times.

Your DH should be more understanding. You shouldn't have to keep asking.

countryandchickens Sun 19-Jul-15 22:03:59

Gosh how awful grew. I sometimes have horrible final destination type visions of similar.

Grewupinafield Sun 19-Jul-15 22:22:16

It was! I still see it every time I'm in a car!! But slowly I'm getting better.

Driving straight into a barrier at 90mph isn't an experience I want to repeat! We hit it side on, spun so many times and hit the central reservation, the only reason we didn't roll was because our car had been lowered! That saved us!

But anyway, back to you!! Have a sit down chat about it, make it clear. Or like a pp said, be sick everywhere!!

andthenagain Sun 19-Jul-15 22:26:20

countryandchickens no l was so bloody terrified - think bumper to bumper at 70mph on the "wrong" side of the road. I wouldn't have cared if he had driven off, l would have walked and kept walking....

Keeptrudging Sun 19-Jul-15 22:26:46

I nip my husband's inner thigh if he's going too fast. No words/nagging, he takes it well, but I am the world's worst passenger - I have ADHD and it's like everything is happening at warp - speed, total sensory overload.

annandale Sun 19-Jul-15 22:32:56

I married dh at least partly because he drives gently. After my first marriage even a hint of aggressive/fast driving is a dealbreaker for me. XH wasn't even that bad. I used to feel sick a lot too - though that did improve when I learned to keep my blood sugar up before going anywhere shame I gained two stone

Talk to him about it while you're at home. Ask him why he keeps driving that way. But in my experience, people who drive like dicks are really hard to teach anything. Look at Jeremy Clarkson.

countryandchickens Sun 19-Jul-15 22:34:01

I have told him his car is not an extension of his penis.

That didn't go down well grin

DrMorbius Sun 19-Jul-15 22:37:11

Has anyone ever successfully managed to get their DH to slow down driving?

Perhaps it's you that needs to learn to adapt. Driving "too fast" is fairly subjective. For example you may only be happy with your DH driving at 15 miles/hour, when in reality that's not really practical.

For example has your DH driven for 20 odd years with no accidents etc. In that case you need to change and not him.

Enchufla Sun 19-Jul-15 22:37:48

My ex was a coach driver so when he got in my car he would tailgate at high speed. I ended up driving absolutely everywhere because he didnt take me seriously when i told him to slow down and i was too scared to let him drive. Its one of the reasons i broke ul with him

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now