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How can I say this to him?

(9 Posts)
wishesandkisses Sun 19-Jul-15 11:09:53

Since me and my partner had a baby he doesn't seem the guy I fell in love with. He's short tempered, speaks to me like a child and although he does everything for me, i'm inclined to cheat. I won't cheat. Just to make it clear. That will not happen. I don't even drink anymore because it makes me consider it.

My son is 18 months old and I thought he would be back to who he was from when I met him. But he's not. I'm only young and there's no passion there anymore. I don't want to leave him and break his heart but I think if I told him I'm getting urges to cheat he'd go mad. Yet if I tell him he's not acting like he once did, he shrugs it off.

I'm at a loss, and feel old before my time. We're like a 40 year old married couple and im craving excitement. What shall I do.

moopymoodle Sun 19-Jul-15 11:17:21

Firstly I think you both need a chat about how he treats you, maybe the stress of a baby has lead to bad habits for you both.

Secondly craving excitement is natural but life with a child can't always be that. It's stressful and cam be mundane, you can't look to a relationship long term to give your life sparkle. A relationship is about teamwork, relying on each other and of course good times too but family life is very different from the passionate begining of a new relationship. You have to appreciate your new riles, work as a team and make time weekly to nurture your relationship.

moopymoodle Sun 19-Jul-15 11:17:58


TokenGinger Sun 19-Jul-15 11:23:10

Leave and be happy. You won't be the first or last to break his heart if he is the way he is. You're in charge of your own happiness - go and capture it.

Garlick Sun 19-Jul-15 13:31:44

This is odd. It makes me think your partner has one way of relating to women as sexual partners and girlfriends, then quite another to women as mothers. Now you're a mother, you don't qualify for the nice & fun treatment. You get patronised and told off instead. Its not a very healthy way of conducting relationships. Does he treat his own mother the way he now treats you? Has he any sisters with children; how about them?

Don't tell him you're thinking of cheating! I can't see how that's going to help a faltering relationship! I'm assuming you have discussed things, but it isn't clear how much you've been able to talk or if he just shuts you down every time.

wishesandkisses Sun 19-Jul-15 13:50:46

He doesn't have any sisters, just his mum and his brothers and dad so can see how it's changed. And it was just a shock tactic. If I try to tell him in conversation he snaps at me and doesn't take anything in.

Garlick Sun 19-Jul-15 14:09:38

So you're hoping it will change him? It won't. If he's not listening, you can't make him hear. Sorry sad

Garlick Sun 19-Jul-15 14:11:22

What have his mum & dad said about it? Would they talk to him? The other thing to try might be counselling - if he won't go, you've got your answer there.

butterfly133 Sun 19-Jul-15 14:14:20

have you asked him why he is snappy and why he treats you like a child?

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