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Online dating as a larger woman...

(18 Posts)
CtrlAltDelicious Sun 19-Jul-15 08:27:00

What do you put wrt your body type? I've always selected "a few pounds over" but felt this was misleading as I undeniably big. Recently I changed my selection to BBW and have had a few nice messages. The thing is, I've also had messages from men instantly asking about my size, saying how much they love bigger it me or is that a bit odd?

Sweetsecret Sun 19-Jul-15 08:35:44

Everyone has their type OP, they probably do like bigger ladies.
Go with it you never know you might like some of them!smile

CtrlAltDelicious Sun 19-Jul-15 08:37:06

You're right, everybody does like different things. Hmm, might reply to a couple...

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks Sun 19-Jul-15 08:44:19

I agree with Sweet. Men have varied tastes so it pays to be honest on your profile so you attract those for whom you are right up their street.

BadLad Sun 19-Jul-15 08:44:59

You'll probably get more replies as a BBW than "a few pounds over". Some men will specifically seek women of that body type (whether your size being fetishised or not is a good thing is open to debate) but few will seek out "a few pounds over" but many will write you off for it.

CtrlAltDelicious Sun 19-Jul-15 08:48:15

Interesting, BadLad. The fetish aspect of it bugs me. I am the size I am but it's something I want to rejoice in! That's why the guys who instantly started asking about my size made me a bit hmm
But I think you're right about the few pounds over thing.
Thanks all!

Tryharder Sun 19-Jul-15 08:49:25

An ex-colleague of DP's fetishised large women; his partners were always about 20 stones and he would encourage them to gain weight.

I would be mindful of this sort of thing. It's one thing to date a guy who likes curvy women but quite another to date someone who can't get his rocks off unless he's with someone so's morbidly obese.

Good luck. I'm overweight (size 16) and totally understand your dilemma.

CtrlAltDelicious Sun 19-Jul-15 08:50:56

Tryharder - ugh. Definitely do not want any of that kind of nonsense!!

Dowser Sun 19-Jul-15 09:00:35

I put my size as average...size 14-16. Maybe I was under estimating myself. Despite 6 months of dieting I'm still that size.

I got my man though ;-)

mummyplus7 Sun 19-Jul-15 09:03:18

Any man who mentions your looks, appearance, body beyond a flippant remark would be a write off for me, even at average size unless you're only looking for a hook up...

Dowser Sun 19-Jul-15 09:07:33

On POF I seem to remember ( it has been 7 years now ) you fill in a profile of yourself.

cleanmyhouse Sun 19-Jul-15 09:10:56

I'd be put off by people focussing on physical too. A compliment is one thing, but if they're entirely fixed on that, they're seeing you as something to have sex with rather than a person. I feel the same way about men who even hint at sex in emails.

brokenhearted55a Sun 19-Jul-15 12:14:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster Sun 19-Jul-15 12:39:01

Just don't lie.

You are the size you are, just state that. As mentioned above by someone else there are plenty of men out there who prefer the larger lady.

When I was internet dating it did annoy me when I met people who had clearly bullshitted on their profile or used out of date photos. I am not attracted to stick thin women, always preferred the curvy / hour glass look but it did piss me off when someone who had declared themselves 'curvy' or 'a few pounds over' or even 'average' when they were clearly not. Its just a waste of everyones time.

Be honest and you will get the right bloke who likes you as you are.

wickedwitchofwaterloo Mon 20-Jul-15 14:02:13

I was a size 18/20 and I put a few pounds over because I didn't want to be put into the more fetish side of BBW. However, I was sure to include a couple of full length pics so they knew what "a few" actually meant.

pocketsaviour Mon 20-Jul-15 14:07:58

Both approaches have their pros and cons. I have always gone for BBW category as I have varied between size 20-26 when online dating. Always include at least one full-length photo on your profile and make sure it's an honest one, if you know what I mean.

You will have to weed out a few feeder fetishists but as for men who specifically like large women - I think that's just a preference. After all if you got a group of men all hitting on a woman with a slim figure - say size 10-12 - you wouldn't say they had a fetish, would you?

Twinklestein Mon 20-Jul-15 14:17:44

If I were OD and a guy said he was a few pounds over when actually he was a few stone over, I would feel that he hadn't been completely honest.

If you were a size 8 you'd get loads of messages from guys who specifically like slim women.

Ultimately, whatever your body shape some guys are going to target you because of it, so you just have to weed them out.

yougotafriend Mon 20-Jul-15 14:32:49

I'm a size 14 (sometimes 16 up top) and would describe myself as athletic build. I exercise regularly and am fairly toned.. I don't think "build" has anything to do with dress size.

hmm to the guys who want big women to get bigger, why wouldn't you want to be with someone who was confident it their looks?

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