Backstory: both early thirties, I have a DC from a previous relationship, been together for five yers, no DC together.
It started a few months ago, DP going out more with people from work, staying behind at work. Our communication at home is a couple of chats here and there but i feel like he prefers to watch tv on his mobile than talk to me. He mentioned talking to someone at work more and more, also on nights out. He was out on Thursday and she was there too. It may be nothing, but I know they have been texting each other, her more than him, and ever since he came back (rolled in drunk) that night I just can't shake off this feeling that something is not right. He's been shouting/slamming doors/swearing every time I mention that night and how disappointed I was that he came home drunk again, very very late. Usually he is apologetic but this time (and one time before) he told me to get the fuck out of his flat when I said we can't go on like this. Later apologetic etc. The more I write, the more I realise- he is a total bastard. But day to day he is mostly ok, can be nice if he wants to. We have good times together, but I feel so betrayed now I don't know if I can go on.
Back to that night- I could not sleep for hours after he came back. I woke up and could not shake of that strange feeling that something has happened. Still hardly speaking to him, but just can't sleep, I lie awake and literally in physical pain, like he broke something in me.
I so wanted for this to work after my shit relationship with DCs dad and we were happy for the first three- four years. We have a place together which complicates things, I just cannot bear the thought of moving DC somewhere else, selling up etc.
Sorry if this is chaotic, I guess my question is what do I do? I suppose his arguments are that I drink too (yes I do at home once or twice a week, 3-4 glasses of wine), that I do not look after the house enough- I can be a a bit messy but more than pull my weight around the house. Is it worth sticking it out? WWYD?
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Worried sick, this might be it for us
notnearlythereyet · 19/07/2015 03:27
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he is a total bastard. But day to day he is mostly ok
That's not good enough is it 
? I would say that if you are open to the option of staying together, then suggest counselling to him. If you are open to the option of splitting amicably, then also suggest counselling.
I am two weeks down the line of my 14 year relationship ending and a lot of the experience has been fucking scary and painful. But there have been other emotions and experiences too.
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