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On way back from bday night away but we squabbled lots :(

(91 Posts)
greener2 Sat 18-Jul-15 15:22:03

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velourvoyageur Sat 18-Jul-15 15:39:11

aw sad disappointment can feel so awful. Were there some nice moments at least?

don't worry love, you're feeling low now but your mood will pick up.

Sounds like there's a backstory. Does he treat you with respect?

Happy Birthday smile

greener2 Sat 18-Jul-15 16:07:14

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Donthate Sat 18-Jul-15 16:10:55

I'd be pissed off if I had booked somewhere for my DH and he couldn't find anything on the menu he liked. It wouldn't happen though because he's a greedy git.

greener2 Sat 18-Jul-15 16:11:44

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Pagwatch Sat 18-Jul-15 16:12:07

Oh lord - that's a shame
Sometimes when it was ages between nights out and we desperately looked forward to it, it ended up tense.
It's was as if we were under pressure to make it great and that made us tense.

FWIW unless a restaurant really didn't have a thing I liked I would never ignore a booked place and wander around looking for an alternative,

greener2 Sat 18-Jul-15 16:13:21

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Pagwatch Sat 18-Jul-15 16:32:51

It takes two of you to squabble though.

What was more important - that you were honest or that you had a nice night.
Saying 'it's not what I would chose' and wandering around trying to find an alternative would piss me off too.
It's hardly a mood enhancer.

iamnotaponceyloudperson Sat 18-Jul-15 16:40:22

Agree with Pag, I would definitely suck up a not ideal menu for the chance of a nice conversation and a good bottle of wine. i can eat anytime, being without the kids and a chance to reconnect with dh and have have a drink without worrying about getting up in the morning is gold dust.
If the person came up with a good alternative quickly I'd be ok but wandering around would quickly piss me off. Nothing kills a night out like a faff!

Spintastic Sat 18-Jul-15 16:43:57

Unless there's a backstory here, I'd be upset if I was your partner. You sound like you did nothing but pour cold water on the evening

Ashwinder Sat 18-Jul-15 16:49:07

Is there a backstory here?

Otherwise I think YWBU sorry. He booked somewhere nice and then you proceeded to get the hump when it wasn't exactly what you would have chosen. Was there really nothing you could eat? You couldn't ask for a plain chicken breast and salad for the sake of a nice conversation and decent wine?

greener2 Sat 18-Jul-15 16:52:27

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Joysmum Sat 18-Jul-15 16:55:46

You sound like a nightmare. He tried to do something nice and for one evening you can't just sit down and eat something you don't hate but wouldn't have chosen.

He then 'lets slip'something, didn't do it on purpose and you told him he 'spoilt' it for you. Saying somebody spoilt il something is never 'lighthearted.

It's no wonder you don't see eye to eye anymore if you've always been like this he's probably reached the end of his tether knowing whatever he does will never be good enough for you.

Joysmum Sat 18-Jul-15 16:56:37

X posted. I agree, it is all your fault from what you've written and you'd do well to apologise.

MrsNuckyThompson Sat 18-Jul-15 16:58:31

Good god. You're a grown woman and you can't just find something, anything on a menu?

It sounds like your DH went to a lot of trouble and you've thrown it back in his face!

greener2 Sat 18-Jul-15 17:01:05

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Pagwatch Sat 18-Jul-15 17:01:27

Look, you are being a bit daft.

You went out and the evening went badly.

You can either look at what happened and try and make it up or continue to overreact and learn nothing.

I think you are just too intent on one evening bringing a lot of closeness and romance back into a life that no doubt, like lots of us, is about day to day things and the children.

In my experience when you have a night out it takes both of you just letting the small stuff go.

If you had said 'god that looks great - I can't wait' you would have been sitting down chatting with him feeling pleased with his booking.

Rather than 'it's all my fault sad' I would just learn to try not to nit pick.

It takes both of you deciding to make the other one feel relaxed.

Lizzylou Sat 18-Jul-15 17:03:28

I agree that you came across as ungrateful. The place was expensive, but your DH chose it as a treat for you.

OK, so it's done now. Eat humble pie, apologise and don't let this fester anymore than it already has.

Happy Birthday flowers

PotteringAlong Sat 18-Jul-15 17:04:19

So why didn't you offer an alternative or book somewhere else then instead of just wandering around? He was asking because it's what you do "is that ok with you, we can go somewhere else if not" kind of thing - no one actually expects the person to say no!

circleskirt Sat 18-Jul-15 17:07:30

OP, you don't sound like a nightmare. I understand where you're coming from completely. He obviously tried but not that much, or he would have got it right. He also ruined someone else's birthday surprise.

Sorry you had a rotten birthday, any chance of a talk to put things right?

YesItsANewNameForThis Sat 18-Jul-15 17:07:35

Oh dear, how can an adult be so indecisive and fussy, really this is kids stuff, and yes you sound spoilt, sorry OP.

It does sound like the pressure to have a good evening got to you both.

Honestly though, I would apologise. He tried to do something nice, I would have been disappointed if I'd done the same for DH and he'd reacted the same as you.

I'm guessing it isn't just this that has annoyed you?

circleskirt Sat 18-Jul-15 17:15:57

Yet another thread where people get told that they're childish and spoilt because their food preferences are different.

Pagwatch Sat 18-Jul-15 17:19:29

Well no, not really.

The op said it was because it was expensive and not her thing - not because there was nothing she could eat.

If her choices were so limited she needs a very specific menu then she should have involved herself in the booking.

sunbathe Sat 18-Jul-15 17:24:30

You're not a nightmare imo, op.

Sounds to me like he wanted to go there and was disappointed. He's now dressed it up as wanting to give you a lovely treat, but you've ruined it.

He needs to apologise to you.

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