My mother - who I've had a terrible relationship with my entire life due to her physical/emotional abuse and borderline tendencies confessed last week that she was repeatedly raped and physically assaulted from when she was 9 years old until when she was 17 by her uncle. She told her parents and they blamed her and told her there was something wrong with her and that she was losing her mind and she would go to hell for lying.
When she told me, she told me out of the blue, like a statement with no feeling, and didn't allow me to ask any questions, offer any sympathy or find out how she felt. Once she had said it she didn't want to speak about it anymore, she shut me down and I am feeling rather shocked.
Because I have been harbouring such negative feelings towards her for so long, I am not quite sure what to make of things anymore. I felt very sorry for myself for the way she treated me (she used to shame me for ordinary things - like puberty, and seemed to enjoy humiliating me and making me embarrassed of myself.) I've been in therapy for years trying to get over it. But now I feel somehow what I went through is nothing compared to what she went through.
Can you tell me how this process might have worked? Why would she repeat the same shaming and humiliating behaviour on her children that she experienced herself and found so awful?
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Can someone explain to me how early trauma can lead someone to be abusive/narc/borderline in adult life?
23 replies
bydaytisbright · 17/07/2015 16:32
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