Help!!!!! Well it goes like this... I met this guy about 5 years ago, we dated for a while and for the time we did it was like we both liked each other as much of the other. Was totally loved up and it was all going amazing making plans for the future. Then it all went a bit pear shape... Things were not going smoothly with my ex (who I had separated from coz he had a affair but on the other hand didn't want to see me move on yet he was with his new girlfriend) and then this guys ex got back in touch with him and started trying to pick up where she left off ( she cheated on him and was a real bitch to him but she, at the time, always had his heart) so it was enevatable that she would get him back.. So he went with her, I moved on, then he saw the real person she was (a lying cheating using nasty person) and decided he's better without her. Then he starts showing up at my work but I was with some one... ANYWAY, coz I was with someone he try's to move on, finds a girlfriend and this is where we are today...
So we chat by text now and again. We always get on so well. Same sence of humour, always there for each other when we have problems. Problem is I just want to be with him. We were made for each other in my eyes. Yes he has a girlfriend just now so I would never EVER do anything while he is with her.
During our last convo he has said that he doesn't see his relationship going any further the spark has gone and he doesn't have a connection with her sexual or emotionally. He is 36 so wants kids but he don't want them with her. I am 35 and so would want another one sooner rather than later.
The problem is that I just want to tell him. I like him so much and have done for the whole time I've known him!!! I'd have his children and I've had many relationships after the father of my oldest child and have never thought that with anyone else. we just click. He is hard working, caring and also is a great role model. Every time we talk about each other's relationships we both want the same things that are missing at the moment with the other person!!
So do I tell him?? Do I just leave it?
My heart is actually hurting coz I just feel it's him I want. I'm acting like a child I know!!!! But I feel so strongly.
Advice needed please ????
Thank you guys x
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I'm in love with a friend!! Advice please ��
Brightstar86 · 14/07/2015 18:03
I can't make much sense of this, but both of you are in relationships? Well, tell your partners it's over, then get together. Seems pretty simple to me? 
I'm not in a relationship now. I think I will tell him, will give it a week to just get the bottle lol. I'm just scared that he doesn't want the same but yes you Are right, What do I have to lose?! At least if I told him I wouldn't be thinking what if I had for the rest of my life!!! I feel like a silly 18 year old 
I just see us together and being happy. I just need to know wether that's what he wants too. He needs to be 100% sure. The only way I will know is if I talk to him. But I'm not sure if doing this by text is the best way, as if he just blanked me after that would really hurt me. I need to sit down with him and see him, and gadge his reaction to know who in depth I should go about how I feel.
How sad is this I have even practiced what I would say lol
Any advice on this?? Thanks
I was you. Kind of, except we were both single, he would hold my hand as we walked home, we'd plan to do on holiday together., but something's
Ways happened to change plans. When he had a gf, he'd not see me: but when it all went tits up, I'd be first point of call. He lost his job, I'd cook for him every Friday, drive him everywhere, look out for him. I constructed an elaborate lol conceived honey trap on OKCupid for him. I loved him.
For his birthday, I bought him a Stetson, half a pound of white chocolate mice and made him a book which lovingly hand illustrated favourite quotes, music we both liked. I made an apple pie, this was the night I would explain how much he meant to me.
He'd met an old flame the night before. I gave him his stuff, I told him I loved him. Apart from a few awkward accusatory texts about my behaviour, I never heard from him again. Now,, almost three years later, if I can be bothered to think about him at all, I hope his dick drops off.
Three months after all this shit, when I'd licked my wounds and had forgotten to take down my internet dating profile, I went on a date with the most lovely, gentle, appreciative man; who values me, compliments me and challenges me in a good way.
Our situations are different. I'd suggest going for it, but being prepared for a cut down. I tend towards thinking nothing ventured nothing gained, to do so is brave but the rejection is really very cruel for the first couple of months. After that, you'll hopefully find someone who deserves you, rather than some guy who you used to be in a relationship with, who keeps you dangling.
not sure how I'd meet him face to face. Even if it was for 30 mins, I'd have to arrange it. But he may put it off.. So if we don't get the chance to meet then I won't get to tell him as I can't say it over text!!!
As for what I would say... OMG even thinking about it I'm getting butterflies 
and even thinking about what I would say I don't think I can!!
The coward way out is to do it by text?! Do you think that's a defo no no?!!
I think I would say something like... Ok so this is how it is, I really like you, a lot and think we should start seeing each other!!
I actually really don't know now
I have been in similar situation and the best advice someone gave me when I complained that I might mess it up and lose a friend was 'but, you're not really friends are you, you're something slightly different and you're waiting for it to change'. Made me realise that yes, I wanted it to be different and to sort it out. Wasn't smooth sailing completely but we're now married 
Beaglesaresweet... In the past I remember him saying that he's really bad at reading people and getting how they feel (I think this was regarding me when we first started seeing each other many years ago) As a person he is such a nice guy. He is quite confident. He has a great sense of humour he's able to put me at ease even in an awkward situation, normally by calling my some sort of funny name like gimp or something lol...
Also in the past we have texted and I guess it was a little flirty, which we both take it as a pinch of salt, well maybe I don't :-/ but it's normal after something I have cheekily said
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.