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Not Good Enough

(16 Posts)
snailracer Sat 11-Jul-15 16:55:55

Nothing I do for my partner is good enough. I work full time, a very physically demanding job, I come home and tidy up, wash dishes, hoover, the usual. I am constantly on the hunt for things my partner has misplaced, or fetching things because I already know where they are. The problem is, whenever one of us has a problem with the other we dont discuss it, then unreasonable demands and ultimatums are put in place to stop it happening again. I receive very little gratitude for what I do, and if im feeling tired and decide against cleaning up the second I walk in, I am called lazy. If I am tired, my partner is more so, same if im ill. Any time mistake I make is a million times worse than every good thing I have ever done.

Suppose what im asking is, is a little gratitude and a Thanks too much to ask??

Ilikefrogs Sat 11-Jul-15 17:15:01

Whatever you do, don't have kids together because the whole competitive tiredness etc will only get worse!
He sounds like an arse and you sound under appreciated!

snailracer Sat 11-Jul-15 17:16:08

I'm a He. smile

Optimist1 Sat 11-Jul-15 17:18:07

Has your partner always been hyper-critical or has this behaviour emerged over time?

Ilikefrogs Sat 11-Jul-15 17:19:24

In that case *she sounds like an arse and you sound under appreciated!

RubbishMantra Sat 11-Jul-15 17:24:17

Why do not discuss your problems together?

Why does your partner expect you to begin cleaning, the second you walk in?

You mention gratitude twice in your post, so what I'm wondering is, is it your partner's behaviour causing you to feel "not good enough", or your own expectations on yourself. If it's the former, then your partner's an entitled arse.

Sleepsoftly Sat 11-Jul-15 17:24:57

I'm a He

Ha Ha, I saw that coming. Just knew the OP was male after the first three lines.

LadyFuckrington Sat 11-Jul-15 17:28:15

Why do you need gratitude for cleaning your own house?

Bahh Sat 11-Jul-15 18:12:05

It is okay to be appreciative of someone doing something even if they are expected to do it, LadyFuckrington.

Wideopenspace Sat 11-Jul-15 18:17:29

Just because you are a he, doesn't stop your partner from also being a he.

Your relationship sounds like hard work.

Inexperiencedchick Sat 11-Jul-15 18:31:14

Where I'm coming from men are not expected to clean or help with the household.

The more you do the more she will demand.
Why? Because she is taking a piss.

Stop doing, leave it as it is. If she will decide to leave let her leave.
She will be the one who will regret.

I'm not saying it so you will start to take a piss yourself.
You probably need to turn the tables for a while.

And I'm a female giving you this advise.

There is no room in someone's life for a person who doesn't appreciate you.

Nothing against ladies here on MN, just an outsider view...

Wideopenspace Sat 11-Jul-15 18:59:26


I don't understand your post Inexperienced..

Inexperiencedchick Sat 11-Jul-15 19:29:28

I'm just saying that OP's partner seems difficult.

littlehouseinthebigwoods Sat 11-Jul-15 19:40:46

I completely understand your post. I can strive hard all day and yet my h will only comment on things that he feels are not up to standard. It's very hurtful but when I mention that I never get any thanks for the stuff I do do he always comes back with 'well I don't get thanks for going to work all day'- which is true, but I also don't criticize him..

Anyway. How does your partner spend her day? Why do you need to clean up the second you get in?

Joysmum Sat 11-Jul-15 20:22:20

...from her yes it's clearly too much to ask.

KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable Sat 11-Jul-15 21:03:21

Do you have children? Does she work? What things happen that require ultimatums?

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