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They forgot my birthday

(18 Posts)
spottybottycream Sat 11-Jul-15 11:07:36

It was my birthday yesterday. My dad, my brother, my paternal grandparents, and my three close friends. Not one of them remembered. Iv had no call, no text and no facebook message, no whatsapp, no card in the post, nothing.

I really don't want to be precious and my DH and my mum and my maternal grandfather remembered so iv not been completely forgotten but I still feel quite upset. Especially about my grandparents. They never forget. My dad and my brother can be forgetful. I don't expect anything, not even a card. But a call to say happy birthday would have been nice.
I really feel quite sad. I know this is not AIBU but am I? Should I get a grip?

I cant even call them I don't think. That feels attention seeking somehow.

Dowser Sat 11-Jul-15 11:11:26

I don't blame you at all for feeling upset.

Shame on them!

PuellaEstCornelia Sat 11-Jul-15 11:17:38

Happy Birthday!cake

BlackeyedSusan Sat 11-Jul-15 11:21:36

difficult isn't it to know how to feel when you have not been forgotten completely but some people have forgotten. a bit guilty for feeling sad when you should be happy that others remembered.

Happy birthday. brew cake biscuit wine for later

UncertainSmile Sat 11-Jul-15 11:25:50

I'd be upset if people forgot my birthday. Happy birthday for yesterday.

LittleDecoRing Sat 11-Jul-15 11:29:24

I would feel sad too. Happy birthday for yesterday flowers

I'd be tempted to do something childish like a Facebook status saying "Thanks for remembering my birthday you fuckers." But it would only help for five seconds I imagine.

Here's a wine

spottybottycream Sat 11-Jul-15 11:38:24

Thank you for my happy birthdays. littlrdecoring yes, I feel like doing something like that. Most aren't on facebook, but I do feel like calling and telling them what a nice time I had with my little boy and DH for my birthday and hearing them squirm, but that feels mean and childish. I cant imagine they forgot on purpose

Smooshface Sat 11-Jul-15 11:41:30

I would post on Facebook "Thanks for lovely birthday messages! I had a fab day". Name those that did remember if you fancy! Might give those that forgot a prod.

It is rubbish though, happy birthday!

goddessofsmallthings Sat 11-Jul-15 11:51:14

flowers cake wine Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, Spotty - and many more of them grin

You've said your df and db are forgetful, but could your dgps be unwell or are having to deal with an unexpected situation?

I'd ring them all and say something on the lines of 'I know Wimbledon was particularly gripping yesterday and it probably caused you to forget my birthday. Never mind, I'll be having another one next year and I'll give you a reminder in advance'.

circleskirt Sat 11-Jul-15 14:18:29

My mum forgot my birthday once, she had a lot on at the time. When she remembered, 10 days later, she was mortified and wrote me a lovely letter. That letter is my most treasured keepsake of her because it was so heartfelt and we weren't particularly close.

Anyway OP, I hope you enjoyed your day, it's always a bit sad when you feel forgotten but the people that really, really matter remembered.

Nollynoo Sat 11-Jul-15 14:37:32

My own dh 'forgot' me at Christmas! It took until 2pm in the afternoon when the dcs said 'hasn't mummy got anything to open?' before he realised. I've now left him sadgrin

Earlybird Sat 11-Jul-15 14:48:28

I would be upset too. When people don't remember special days, it is easy to feel you don't matter to them the way you'd like to. But don't do something like a passive aggressive Facebook post as a way of calling them out.

The next time you speak to them, say something like 'it was my birthday last week, and I didn't hear from you. It upset me'. How they respond will tell you a great deal - whether there is genuine remorse, or lots of justifying / excuse-making.

I'm glad you had a lovely day with your dh and ds. That is a lot to be grateful for.

BrowersBlues Sat 11-Jul-15 14:49:37

Happy birthday and now stop being miserable. Pick up the phone and say 'hi just ringing to tell you that I am having a lovely birthday' and listen to them dying. Laugh about it. You are wrecking your own day.

My birthday is very close to a huge holiday and both of my parents have forgotten my birthday twice! On one of those times my sister and I waited until about 10pm to ring and remind them. We rang late to make them feel worse because at 10pm they couldn't say 'we were just about to ring you'.

Every single partner I have ever had has forgotten my birthday. The holiday gets all the focus. I am not the sort of person that bangs on about their birthday so I get it that they forgot.

Years ago I actually once forgot it myself until lunchtime. My dad was driving me into town to pick something up and when I was in the shop I remembered. When I got back into the car I told him and he completely denied that he had forgotten and said he pretended to forget for a joke.

Lighten up and enjoy your day!

Flisspaps Sat 11-Jul-15 15:13:36

Her birthday was yesterday Browers hmm

ShelaghTurner Sat 11-Jul-15 15:27:50

Great advice there. Because your family couldn't give a crap neither should anyone else's? OK...

I have people who share my damn birthday who forget and in actual fact I hate birthdays, but, if the people who forgot were my immediate family then I would be very upset and with good reason.

Happy birthday for yesterday, hope you managed to have a good day anyway flowers cake

BrowersBlues Sat 11-Jul-15 15:41:27

Sorry OP I just realised your birthday was yesterday. I do hope you had a nice day.

BrowersBlues Sat 11-Jul-15 15:45:13

You couldn't meet two more loving people than my parents. I get it that a lot of people would be really bothered but I just wanted to give my view which I thought might help a bit. I apologise OP if I caused you any further upset.

junebirthdaygirl Sat 11-Jul-15 21:15:35

My dm has never forgotten my dcs birthday until this year when it's like she is now too old to remember then to go to the trouble of buying a card etc. Maybe your gps are just getting on a bit and this is one of the signs..

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