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Concerns - help?!

(7 Posts)
thewinterqueen Fri 10-Jul-15 23:39:58

Hi lovely ladies,
I wanted to discuss a situation with you and get your thoughts. I've been in a relationship for 2 and a half years now, and am a sufferer of manic depression. I've recently had to give up any chance of working due to the severity of my symptoms.
I'm starting to believe that my relationship is causing my symptoms to worsen. My boyfriend is very possessive and gets very aggressive towards me. He's never hit me, but sometimes I'm in fear of it. I've caught him going through my phone several times and he's started arguments over how many kisses I'm putting at the end of texts. He has accused me of cheating on more than one occasion and has made me a nervous wreck. He says we don't have enough sex and that I'm not affectionate enough, but the depression causes this and also his behaviour. He has financial control over me too, which he states with relish. Recently, our arguments have been getting more and more heated. He accused me of 'feeling sorry for myself' during one very serious moment of depression and I tried to cut my wrists and ended up in hospital. I am truly worried about my sanity and fear I'm on the way to a breakdown. He uses my past against me, accuses me of being emotionally and sexually unavailable and I feel totally trapped. I've spoken to Citizens Advice about how to proceed but it looks like it could take months before anything happens. I don't have any family to support me either. What should I do? Am I blowing this out of proportion?

Balders74 Fri 10-Jul-15 23:49:13

Do a search for the Freedom Programme. You have enough to deal with & you don't need this tossed making life harder for you. He sounds like a bullying control freak. You need a kind, stress free & loving environment to get yourself straight in.

I hope you can find a way to get out of his clutches.

CalleighDoodle Fri 10-Jul-15 23:51:03

You arr most certianly NOT blowing this out of proportion. He sounds a horrible mAn. Could women's aid help?

WingsofNylon Sat 11-Jul-15 00:30:33

It does sound like the relationship is an additional weight on your mental health. The sooner you van get away the better. Van you think of anyone who could help you out for a while? It is surprising how often people we might not think we are close with will offer a helping hand.

LineRunner Sat 11-Jul-15 00:33:31

Are you living with him? Just wondering why CAB said it would take months for something to happen.

I agree this is unhealthy for you. Hope you are doing ok.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Sat 11-Jul-15 00:48:30

I'm afraid I don't know much about manic depression but I do know a bit about abusive relationships.

You are not blowing anything out of proportion, his behaviour and attitude towards you are completely unacceptable, even without the depression.

I know depression isn't necessarily related to circumstance, but being with this guy can't be helping either. You need to get away from him however you can. I know you say you don't have any family to support you, but is there anyone you can turn to at all, even if only for a few nights so that you can think straight?

In my experience CAB haven't been hugely helpful, I think you might need to contact someone a little more sympathetic like Women's Aid for example. I know that you are probably doubting that your situation is serious enough to call them, but I assure you that if you describe to them what you have posted here they will understand exactly what is going on and be able to support you.

Obviously use private browsing and cover your tracks as men like this tend to get angry when they feel like you're breaking free of them.

thewinterqueen Sat 11-Jul-15 09:29:20

Thank you guys. CAB have seemed helpful in advising me how to be financially independent and what benefits I can get on account of the mental disability. I just wish the process was quicker. Feeling so trapped here!

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