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I am being hounded

(9 Posts)
chewedupandspatout Fri 10-Jul-15 10:01:34

by my stbxhs barrister to get a job, or to produce a 'business plan' outlining what self-employed earnings I will produce to maintain myself after divorce. I haven't worked for over 20 years now & have no real qualifications to speak of. I also have a recovering dc with special needs that I have to drive to school some distance away (they can't manage public transport) & the school day is 10.30-3pm. I am beginning to sink into a deep depression with very black thoughts. I'd love to work & to have my own money. My confidence is at rock bottom. I have no idea what I'm going to do.

QuiteLikely5 Fri 10-Jul-15 10:03:58

Do not feel pressured. These people cannot force you to do anything.

What does your own solicitor say?

GrannyWW Fri 10-Jul-15 10:07:34

Offer your ex 50/50 care or even full residance to facilitate you getting a job - ask how he will cover his half of holiday childcare

Senada Fri 10-Jul-15 10:19:51

I'd like to know what your own legal team is advising too.
what happened at your First Hearing last week?

Senada Fri 10-Jul-15 10:21:32

Also,how do they expect you to work and arrange care for your special needs dc during school holidays etc?

ALaughAMinute Fri 10-Jul-15 10:33:43

Surely he should be paying you maintenance?

They are trying to intimidate you - don't let them!

Get legal advice and don't let the bastards get you down. flowers

Melonfool Fri 10-Jul-15 12:29:28

Tell him you're thinking of becoming a barrister and ask if he has any vacancies that fit with school hours.

FredaMayor Fri 10-Jul-15 13:35:27

OP, the other side's barrister is just trying to rattle your cage. This type of intimidation is very, very common. Make sure all your comms are through your solicitor and confer with him/her before making any response. From the information you give I think that the court would not expect you to get anything but the most basic employment since you have been out of paid employment for 20 years and a SN child.

Buck up, I know this is mega-stressful (I have been exactly where you are even down to the details such as you have given) but even though what's happening now is totally shitty, you will get through this, I have no doubt.

Hissy Fri 10-Jul-15 13:56:43

Ask him to contact your solicitor directly and put his harassment in writing. Inform him that you wont be engaging in any more communications with him and if he refuses to accept this, you will report him and his client for harassment.

Your H is using the court system to bully, threaten and intimidate.

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