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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

"If you don't come off your anti depressants, things will just get worse and it won't work for me"

24 replies

RedKite1985 · 09/07/2015 11:46

Is what DP has said.

This is after calling me fat and saying she doesn't want to be with someone who is 20 stone (I am a size 14 - 16)

How would you reply?

I have been on these meds since before I met her.

OP posts:

Report

AlpacaMyBags · 09/07/2015 11:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pocketsaviour · 09/07/2015 11:49

Tell her you'll be following her medical advice once she shows you her doctorate in medicine.

Then boot her fat-shaming arse out the door.

butterflygirl15 · 09/07/2015 11:50

DP would be an ex by now if they spoke to me in that way. So my only reply would be goodbye.

Morganly · 09/07/2015 11:52

My reply would be too rude to type but the gist of it would be "bye bye".

Bogeyface · 09/07/2015 12:02

Well I think we have all worked out why you are on Anti D's.

Tell her to fuck off and you may well find that your depression lifts a fair bit. I assume that this charmer is practically perfect in every way?!

RedKite1985 · 09/07/2015 12:23

She is always in a mood lately. We just went to London for the weekend.

First day we got there I said I wanted to leave my bag at the hotel so I didn't have to carry it round all day (she had one too).. it was one stop away and 400meter walk and she wouldn't come so she went to the exhibition while I got lost looking for the hotel... not fun.

Then she got in a mood about me not wanting to get proper wasted on the Friday - so I did but we only went to a pub not a club, said i might go to a club tomorrow (sat) but not sure and she got really annoyed when the next day I didn't want to go to a club cause I was too hungover and tired.. She was in a right mood all round camden on sat day, annoyed that I wasn't hungry right there and then... then i said we can have food at the pub by the hotel a bit later before we get back... so we went to the pub then she wouldn't let me have what i wanted saying it was too fatty (she was having macaroni and cheese with garlic bread and chips?!) so we didnt have anything and just went to the hotel. Then she was just an absolute bitch and walked out the hotel for a while. Came back and she tried to be nice, which lasted until i said i wasn't in the mood for drinking but would still go out. She got in a massive mood... we went to go out and then she wanted to go back so we just fell asleep in front of the TV. Sunday was alright though. One day that was mediumly okay out of all of them

OP posts:

RedKite1985 · 09/07/2015 12:29

Here is a link to my previous thread

OP posts:

fusspot66 · 09/07/2015 12:36

She's no good for you.

pocketsaviour · 09/07/2015 12:36

Just read your previous thread. I'm sorry about your Grandma. And I'm sorry your "partner" was so unsupportive.

Do you feel ready to end this relationship now? I cannot see from what you've said that you are getting anything positive at all from this woman, let alone the love and caring that you should expect from a relationship.

KinkyAfro · 09/07/2015 12:37

I can't say anymore than I said your previous thread which was kick her into touch.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 09/07/2015 12:44

Sorry about your grandma.
Wrt your dp it actually sounds like she doesn't actually like you very much. I am afraid it looks like she knows she's got it made with you housing her, cleaning for her, doing her assignments and I assume paying for hotels and booze. But she would lose all that if you break up so she's sitting tight, treating you like shit and assuming you're too in love with her to end it.
Are you sure her family have a problem with her being gay? Or could it be she isn't actually a nice person?

Sighing · 09/07/2015 12:45

Get rid. You'll look back and thank your stars!

RedKite1985 · 09/07/2015 12:48

I have witnessed her family being unaccepting first hand.

I just think she is depressed, she was seeing a counsellor through UNI but that has finished for the Summer. I know I am emotionless and crap when on the tablets so it doesn't help things.

I guess I see a promising future and this is just a blip?

OP posts:

badtime · 09/07/2015 12:48

Get rid of this nasty abusive cuntlodger.

Hobbes8 · 09/07/2015 12:52

In what way is it a blip? When has she been the nice loving supportive partner you deserve?

GiddyOnZackHunt · 09/07/2015 12:56

She's not depressed. She's a sulky freeloader.

PerspicaciaTick · 09/07/2015 12:59

I think you need to end this relationship - TBH is sounds like the problems are escalating rather then just a "blip".

She sounds like the worst kind of stroppy teenager, the sort that is immature enough to think the world in general owes them. Your other thread actually reads a lot like threads I've read which are written by the parents of abusive teens. I don't feel like I'm reading about a loving partnership.

MamanOfThree · 09/07/2015 12:59

But how much are you going to accept because' her family isn't accepting her as gay/she needs counselling/it's just a blip'?

You are making excuses for her when she was happy to find someone else as soon as you said 'let's have a break' and You are thinking she might have cheated on you anyway.
She is insulting you, putting you down, telling you are fat (not excusable even if you were a size 30). And has been pjysical abusive towards you.

What is the thing that would make you think 'Now this limit has been crossed. I will not accept it anymore'?

JassyRadlett · 09/07/2015 13:01

Gosh, she sounds awful.

Given that you're getting appropriate treatment for your depression, I'd be tempted to ask her what treatment she's seeking for being intolerably thick and selfish?

Zillie77 · 09/07/2015 13:45

I remember reading your previous thread and I want to gently ask you if this relationship is a healthy relationship? Is she supportive and patient? Does she treat you kindly? Does she think you are beautiful? Does she laugh at your jokes? Does she say she loves you? Does she look proud to be with you in public?

Skiptonlass · 09/07/2015 13:47

I'd keep the antidepressants and ditch the girlfriend.

Plenty more nice women out there who will love you for what you are. She sounds like a nightmare.

I think you do need to lose some weight - about however much the gf weighs actually ;) I bet you'll feel better for it.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 09/07/2015 13:57

You are too indulgent towards her. She is not ready for settling down with you. It will only get worse. I think you're offering so much she thinks you're there to give, give, give. Don't you deserve a loving partner who might put your feelings first and have a 50/50 relationship?

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gatewalker · 09/07/2015 13:58

RedKite - This isn't a blip. It's an absolutely horrendous state of affairs that you can end any moment. It also isn't love. If you feel it is, then it might be a really good idea to get some help understanding why you equate love with abuse. I write this as someone who was formerly in abusive relationships.

Best of luck.

butterflygirl15 · 09/07/2015 14:14

she is an abusive freeloader. I cannot see one good point about her. Why do you think this is all you deserve?

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