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Condom Box Dilemma

(43 Posts)
Roseflowers Thu 09-Jul-15 07:00:24

Hello wise and lovely mumsnetters, bit of perpective needed about something I saw the other day...

I've been dating someone for a couple of months, and when we first started dating we were using condoms. They were of a pretty cheap looking variety in a purple box, and we hadn't used them for about two months due to me going on the pill. A week ago, when I was around said someone's house, he'd gone out to work and I couldn't find the skirt I'd worn the night before anywhere in his room where I'd taken it off. It's worth pointing out he's a massive neat freak, the only mess in his bedroom being a couple of neatly folded piles of clothing on the floor ready to be put away. I searched high and low for my skirt and whilst looking under the bed saw the box of condoms neatly stored underneath in a very visible position. Thinking that maybe he'd chucked my skirt in one of his drawers whilst tidying, I checked the main few and to my surprise found another, open box of condoms, this time fancy durex ribbed ones which we definitely hadn't used. It struck me as a little suspicious and seemed that he must have bought them after we'd stopped using condoms, otherwise why would we have been using crap ones if he had those instead? I didn't say anything at the time.

Fast forward to Monday night, and when I go to get into bed, out of curiosity I look (as in, flicker my eyes downwards kind of look!) at where I saw the condoms under the bed the previous week. The purple packet of cheap condoms has now been joined by the swanky durex ones, which were definitely NOT there before. When using the bedroom mirror I also see a ladies earring back on the floor under the mirror.

What would you think?

ThisOneAndThatOne Thu 09-Jul-15 07:02:11

People only find lost ladies earrings in films

Wotsitsareafterme Thu 09-Jul-15 07:03:23

That he's cheating. At first I wouldn't have thought anything about the condoms - different brands are more comfy for different people but the earring - come on hmm

Roseflowers Thu 09-Jul-15 07:04:51

Nope, for real! Floor length bedroom mirror, I was sitting on the floor doing my hair and underneath when I went to plug in the hairdryer there was a gold earring back on the carpet....

Penfold007 Thu 09-Jul-15 07:06:26

I'm loving the looking for my skirt excuse. Did you find your missing clothing? He's having sex with someone other than you.

defineme Thu 09-Jul-15 07:06:37

I think you are very unwise not using barrier contraception.

rifugio Thu 09-Jul-15 07:07:51

Maybe the ear ring his his ?

rifugio Thu 09-Jul-15 07:08:03

Is his?

Roseflowers Thu 09-Jul-15 07:10:44

I haven't slept with him in the last week, he had previously had an std test at the start of us dating and we had both verbally confirmed we hadn't slept with anyone else since that point. Also, I genuinely wasn't snooping! He was out at work and so not around to ask, and I actually found my skirt neatly folded up at the bottom of a pile of washing next to the chest of drawers where he'd tidied it away for some reason....

Roseflowers Thu 09-Jul-15 07:11:13

Oh and nope, he doesn't have pierced ears

TheStoic Thu 09-Jul-15 07:13:07

Had you agreed to be exclusive? Because it doesn't sound like you are - at least from his side.

rifugio Thu 09-Jul-15 07:14:28

OP just ask him or it will niggle at you for weeks to come. We can all speculate forever but you need the truth from him for piece of mind.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 09-Jul-15 07:16:31

Did you not ask who the earring belonged to?

Justyouwaitandsee Thu 09-Jul-15 07:17:08

Could you have just not noticed the earring back before (as it was presumably small and hidden behind the mirror, which would also prevent it being hoovered up) I was also going to say that perhaps he didn't like the ribbed condoms?

Roseflowers Thu 09-Jul-15 07:21:40

But if he didn't like the ribbed condoms, then why on earth had they moved from his bedroom drawer to prime sexytime position under his bed when we weren't using condoms? I brought it up with him when he came up to bed and said after three months I thought we should have 'the talk' as it were, so I knew where I stood. He said he said that he'd found the durex condoms under the bed whilst hovering and that he wasn't seeing anyone else. I'm ashamed to say I checked the drawer where they had previously been as I didn't quite believe him and lo and behold, there were no longer any condoms in that drawer. He'd taken them out for some reason.

Only1scoop Thu 09-Jul-15 07:24:12

Op no need for the 'skirt' excuse were mooching wink

I would make sure I used condoms if I continued to sleep with him I think. Any from his growing collection.

Earing backs can flick everywhere....
Until they're sucked up the Hoover....

He doesn't sound like a neat freak at all to me though.

Did you find your skirt?

Roseflowers Thu 09-Jul-15 08:09:14

Yeah, he'd folded it up and put it within his clean clothes pile...

Penfold007 Thu 09-Jul-15 08:33:59

He hid the skirt so the other sexual partner wouldn't see it.

Isetan Thu 09-Jul-15 09:16:26

Oh FFS! Your exchanging bodily fluids with this guy and you can't say 'I see you've bought a new box of condoms, do you want to go back to using them?'

You mention that he's been tested, are you just going on his say so? And why weren't you tested? Start using his 'fancy' condoms and get tested!

lostinnormandieland Thu 09-Jul-15 09:55:45

you found the evidence. You know have to admit it to yourself. Hugs

RepeatAdNauseum Thu 09-Jul-15 09:55:56

He hid your skirt so the other woman wouldn't see it. He didn't spot the earring so he couldn't hide that from you.

He's obviously still using condoms, too, nobody buys them if they aren't using them, or randomly moves them around.

I suppose at least he's using condoms with the other person, but it's likely that this at the other woman's insistence if he's not using them with you, so there's a good chance that if he has other sexual partners, he's not using condoms with them all.

I'd get a new STI check and stop sleeping with him.

Koalafications Thu 09-Jul-15 10:01:55

He might be having a posh wank? [clutches straws]

He is most probably shagging someone else's and you were definitely snooping!

Koalafications Thu 09-Jul-15 10:02:06


missqwerty Thu 09-Jul-15 10:09:41

How do u know the ear ring back hadn't been there ages? When my partner moved in with me we cleared his flat and found bobbles thar wasn't mine behind the bed. As for the condoms maybe posh wank

Roseflowers Thu 09-Jul-15 10:36:30

I'm no longer sleeping with him, don't worry! If he'd come clean and said 'yeah I'm sleeping with someone else' then I would have thanked him for his honesty but have ended things because I don't want to be dating someone who after three months is still shagging about! Not good for my emotional or sexual health. I've broken things off, I just wanted opinions to see if i was making the correct assumptions based on what I saw. Snooping or not (and I wasn't actively looking for any evidence of cheating) he still seems to have lied about something quite important and so that's a deal breaker for me!

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