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Regrets? Have any & what are they?

(28 Posts)
tasha24x Wed 08-Jul-15 21:01:07

Just wondered if anyone had any regrets if so what are they & how do you live with them ? Xx

goddessofsmallthings Wed 08-Jul-15 21:03:34

Let's start with yours - what are they and how do you live with them?

Sleepsoftly Wed 08-Jul-15 21:06:25

My parents' inability to communicate together and with us.

I had to work it out for myself, but now I know they did their best.
Its too late to tell them though. That's two regrets.

Bogeyface Wed 08-Jul-15 21:16:51

Regrets? I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.... wink

Seriously? Loads. And some pretty big ones too. Ending my marriage would be the biggest one. I thought the problem was him/us and it wasnt, it was me. I was severely depressed and of course when I left I took that with me, and ended up having a breakdown.

I should have stayed he was/is a good man and would have helped me through it, as it was I turned everyone lives upside down sad

whitsernam Wed 08-Jul-15 21:19:48

I deeply regret staying married for soooo many years, unhappy. The kids are messed up adults, and XDH still doesn't get it!

PeppermintPasty Wed 08-Jul-15 21:23:40

Are you researching? Writing an article?

Bogeyface Wed 08-Jul-15 21:29:49

Peppermint

The Op has posted several times about her recent life, I suspect that that is what she is referring to.

PeppermintPasty Wed 08-Jul-15 21:31:58

Ok, thanks. Just seemed quite abrupt.

tasha24x Wed 08-Jul-15 21:36:23

Yes your right I've posted many of times. Sometimes it's nice to get other people's perspective & realise your not the only one who has them!
Mine was that I cheated on my partner (no sex involved) an emotional affair I guess. I struggle daily with it, I have for the last 3 years & find it hard to enjoy nice things in life cause of it x

whitsernam Wed 08-Jul-15 21:40:30

Forgiving yourself is definitely the most difficult thing in life. A good therapist could be helpful for you, to figure out why you did this, and how to move forward in a way that would prevent making a pattern of this. It's done. You can't change it. All anyone can do is live facing forward, and live in a way that you won't have more big future regrets. You have my sympathies, to a point, but then it's up to you to figure yourself out and make any changes. flowers

Skiptonlass Wed 08-Jul-15 21:41:33

Some...but then if I hadn't made some mistakes earlier in my life I wouldn't have the life I have now, if that makes sense? And that life is pretty good. So I'll learn from the things I could have done better and be content that some of those earlier fuck ups lead to where I am now.

An example. A long winded fuckup by my ex meant I missed the interviews for my dream job. I was so upset by it, as I was later told I would have got it. I ended up taking the only other option I had, which I hated - so for a long time I was angry with my ex.

But then it was at that shit job I met my wonderful husband, and the experience in that shit job got me the well paid one I have now.

I certainly don't believe in all the "everything happens for a reason" stuff, but you can't change the past, you can only learn from it. Every mistake you make you learn from and every experience shapes you.

oabiti Wed 08-Jul-15 21:43:23

Not visiting the dentist often enough.

paxtecum Wed 08-Jul-15 21:43:52

Thinking that I had to stay married to a selfish, abusive husband for ever.

We should have spilt up years earlier.

Skiptonlass Wed 08-Jul-15 21:44:36

Tasha, you can't change it now. Yes, that's a big regret and it wasn't a great thing to do, but to punish yourself constantly is easier than to say "I will never do that again. Now I will move on."

forgiving yourself isn't about excusing your behaviour, it's about facing up to it, drawing a line under it, learning from it and moving on. It's hard to do.

TopOfTheCliff Wed 08-Jul-15 21:45:03

I regret allowing my workaholic BF to talk me out of going travelling when we were 24 and knuckling down to hard work and paying a mortgage and then raising a family. It took me 27 years to realise he was never going to change. I have quite a lot of fun these days though, so it wasn't too late. grin

Sleepsoftly Wed 08-Jul-15 21:51:37

tasha24x Sometimes both people play their part in creating the place that one no longer wants to be in. It kind of creeps up on us. Sometimes one party leaves a relationship for their own reason. I am not sure whether you are still with the one you speak of or not. Either way, its irrelevant to try to be a time travelling doctor. Dip in once in a while, but don't spend your life there. Its too short. We only have now, not then.

Joysmum Wed 08-Jul-15 21:58:03

My regrets are about things I've done and wish I hadn't, not about things I haven't done and wish I had.

People who always say you only regret what you've not done make me feel a bit stabby. My regrets have set me back I wish I could change them.

Byebutterfly Wed 08-Jul-15 22:03:00

I don't have any regrets as I truly believe that my mistakes have brought me to who and where I am today. I wouldn't change a thing.

Be kind to yourself op, and forgive yourself, life's too short flowers

Jenna333 Wed 08-Jul-15 22:07:56

I've been on quite a bumpy journey through life and could regret a lot but I know that what I've done at the time was just what I thought was right or just what I did for a reason so I don't really regret anything, just see it as what I chose at the time for a reason.

DisgustingNamechange Wed 08-Jul-15 22:16:31

I regret being a naive teenager who was too blind to see every red flag in existence and ended up married to a sefish, abusive cocklodger who I'm too scared to get up and leave.

3mum Thu 09-Jul-15 09:39:22

Regret 1: Going out with my exH in the first place.

Regret 2: Not dumping him the first time he revealed himself to be a twunt of the first order.

Sadly, I'll never get those thirty wasted years back.

PeppermintPasty Thu 09-Jul-15 10:36:14

Well, it's a cliche, but I really really wish I'd dumped my ex the second I found out I was pregnant with our second child. She would then remember next to nothing about her awful father now, and our older child would have been 3 rather than 6.8 years when I finally kicked him out, so would have been far less affected by his father's current behaviour, which involves not having seen either of his beautiful dc for ten months because he has a chip on his shoulder a mile high, and is an unadulterated wanker.

I constantly castigate myself for making such a poor choice for them :-(

mommyof23kids Thu 09-Jul-15 10:50:40

When I was in my 20s I tried to kill myself. While I was in the hospital they put my cats in a shelter and said that if I didn't pick them up in 2 weeks they'd be put down. I went to get them on the last day and couldn't find them.

My regret is that I waited until the last day. If I had gone sooner I could have made a better effort to find them. I was still very ill then and had only told one person. If I had told more people perhaps they could have helped.

mommyof23kids Thu 09-Jul-15 10:52:05

I deal with it by burying it deep deep down and not thinking about it.

scrumpkin Thu 09-Jul-15 10:54:08

Same as bogeyface. Pretty much word for word. I miss my husband.

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