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What is a normal relationship?

(9 Posts)
headoverthere Tue 07-Jul-15 16:52:13

So what is normal? I think mines a bit dysfunctional & I'm taking steps to end it (i think) but it is hard.
I'm just wondering what others relationships are like? Are you still Holding hands? Kissing & cuddling? Having regular sex? Even after many years together?
We've been together 18 years & are doing none of the above, so I guess my question is what's normal? Can love & affection really last throughout the ages?

CaramellaDeVille Tue 07-Jul-15 17:00:58

I'm not sure what normal is so can only speak for myself. In my experience it can last. I've been with DH for 19 years, have 2 kids and we are both 37. Our sex life goes through peaks and troughs but the spark is always there, we hold hands, kiss and cuddle etc. and are generally 'loved up' and affectionate. This does require effort on both sides though. And our intimacy is only just back on track now our youngest is 18 months old.

As you've said you're taking steps to end your relationship I assume you're unhappy with the lack of all the above? I'd say you are right to be. Obviously after 18 years you dont expect to be like honeymooners but it does sound like the spark has gone. flowers

headoverthere Tue 07-Jul-15 17:04:08

He's slept on the sofa for almost 5 years. We last had sex over a year ago.
We've become so seperated whilst still living together that it's hard to think what another relationship would be like.

BackInTheRealWorld Tue 07-Jul-15 17:04:58

Why does he sleep on the sofa?

CaramellaDeVille Tue 07-Jul-15 17:06:13

That sounds rough OP. Did something 'happen' or did everything just kind of slide away?

headoverthere Tue 07-Jul-15 17:41:24

He moved downstairs when my daughter came home from hospital after being born. Said he needed his sleep. So in my eyes he moved out of our relationship then. And created a lot of resentment.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven Tue 07-Jul-15 17:48:37

I am SO the wrong person to answer this. Sorry OP ( sorts through both absolutes )

pocketsaviour Tue 07-Jul-15 21:22:47

It sounds like you are more housemates than anything else.

Would you want things to change, or have you also emotionally moved on?

Imustgodowntotheseaagain Tue 07-Jul-15 22:17:09

I think there are many kinds of normal but in a good relationship being with a partner adds to the happiness and comfort of your life. If your partner generally makes you miserable, stressed or unhappy then it's not a good relationship.

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