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Dad and money

(8 Posts)
RedKite1985 Tue 07-Jul-15 11:37:13

I haven't always had a great relationship with my dad, he is a borderline alcoholic and was extremely cruel to me as a child after my Mum passed away. I ended up living with my grandmother.

That aside, I now get on well with him and go to see him a few times a month.

Last year I borrowed £50 off him to pay a council tax demand from a property I lived at a long time ago and wasn't even aware of. Anyway, I forgot to pay it back. He hadn't mentioned it at all and my memory stinks.

Anyway I passed my driving test last week and have asked him if he could lend me £200 to get new car up and running with insurance deposit and petrol. I hadn't expected to find a car so quickly so it was all a bit rushed.

He text me back saying about the £50 I owed him (fair enough) then w3as just really nasty about it. I said it was fine and that I understood, forgot about the £50 and assured him I would pay this back to him with this months pay.

A few hours later he text me back saying he will lend it to me as long as I promise to pay it back.

The thing is, I know that when I go up there to collect the money he is going to have a go at me and it will be awkward so am just wondering should I just decline his offer and wait until the end of the month to get on the road?

If he had just declined to help in a less aggressive way I wouldn't mind but he was really harsh.

I lent him £1000 3 years ago which I never asked for back but he seems to have forgotten that

AnyFucker Tue 07-Jul-15 11:45:00

why are you relying on such a toxic person in your life ?

borrow the money off someone else or wait and save it up

you are handing him opportunities on a silver plate to make you feel like shit

RedKite1985 Tue 07-Jul-15 11:57:13

You're right, he literally was the last person I asked and I really wish I hadn't bothered. I will send him a text this afternoon to tell him I don't need it any longer.

Joysmum Tue 07-Jul-15 12:25:14

Of course he forgot in the same way you forgot about the money he lent you. I'd be pissed off if I lent and it wasn't repaid and no mention made when they then came back asking for more.

AnyFucker Tue 07-Jul-15 12:26:59

sounds like a good plan

sorry if I sounded a bit brusque...I have equally shit parents and learned a long time ago to rely on them for absolutely nothing

best all round thanks

RedKite1985 Tue 07-Jul-15 15:23:19

Helpful Joysmum

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 07-Jul-15 15:31:16

Do not take any money off your dad. He is a waste of space honestly.

Why are you still having anything to do with him at all given his past behaviours towards you?.

There is also the not too small issue of him paying you back as well; that is money that you will likely never see again. Why have you not asked for that cash to be repaid?. Its probably because he has drunk it all away.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 07-Jul-15 15:32:09


I would also read up on co-dependency as this often features in relationships where there is alcoholism present.

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