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DP's Uncle told me he loves me what should I do?

(122 Posts)
meredieu Mon 06-Jul-15 13:18:17

I am am still reeling over what has happened this morning , I am shocked and don't know where to go with this to tell my Husband or just pretend it never happened. This morning DP's Uncle told me he is in love with me, he say he doesn't expect anything to happen between us but that he had to tell me how he felt, that he had never loved his wife but married her when she became pregnant and that he has had strong feelings for me for years.

I am in my late 30's and he is 53. I have been with my Husband for 19 years and earlier this year we moved into a house a street down from his uncles house. He is a lecturer and so is off during the summer and has been dropping by while out walking his dog. I work from home and didn't mind him popping in but I did think it a bit odd as I always felt he did not like me very much.

I am totally in shock I can't even fully remember what was said I tried to tell him he was wrong in his feelings but when he persisted I asked him to leave which he eventually did to give me "time to think".

WTF do I do about this? Just pretend it has never happened or should I speak to my Husband about it?

knickernicker Mon 06-Jul-15 13:21:41

It's a bit presumptuous of him to think you'd be interested enough to give you 'time to think.' I would tell your husband what happened and decide together what to do about him.

kirinm Mon 06-Jul-15 13:21:48

Personally I'd tell my DP. The words 'give you time to think' makes it sound as if he does expect something to change. I'd voice it sooner rather than later. I don't think hiding something like this is a good idea as it'll come out eventually.

gamerchick Mon 06-Jul-15 13:24:45

Tell your bloke... There is no any which way about it. Keeping it to yourself makes you party and its drama nobody needs.

Tell your partner tonight and let him deal with it.

CarolPeletier Mon 06-Jul-15 13:25:05

If you previously thought he did not like you, is there any chance this is a set up of some kind?
Tell your DP.

MiddleAgedandConfused Mon 06-Jul-15 13:25:09

You need to tell your DP or it might look like you were encouraging this. Maybe then DP can go round and speak to him and make it clear you are not interested.

meredieu Mon 06-Jul-15 13:26:07

Thank you for your replies, I have no idea how to tell my Husband I do want to tell him I am just worried what will happen if I do. I feel sorry for his Uncle I am sure it is probably some kind of mlc and I just happen to be a convenient focal point for his feelings. I would like to think this will all pass in time and hopefully without anyone doing anything stupid.

springydaffs Mon 06-Jul-15 13:27:51

Ew. What a slime.

Time to think? About what, exactly? That's he thrown a bomb into your marriage, tapping his nephews wife? Ffs!

Get rid. I would never see him again.

meredieu Mon 06-Jul-15 13:28:01

I don't think it is a set up, his Uncle is a bit unusual, highly intelligent but not the best socially, he can come off as very aloof. I can't imagine it being a set up.

sausagesandyogadontmix Mon 06-Jul-15 13:28:19

This is too big a burden to keep from your husband. Please tell him so you can deal with it together.

FadedRed Mon 06-Jul-15 13:28:28

I think you need to tell your husband. Uncle needs to be told he is acting inappropriately and not to call round unless invited.
I would be thinking about moving house.
How unpleasant for you OP.

tatumsfunkychicken Mon 06-Jul-15 13:30:19

I'd tell DH. Immediately.

KirstyJC Mon 06-Jul-15 13:31:53

If you can't work out the words to tell your DH then show him this thread - you have written it down clearly.

Yuck - and what a nerve of him to think you have anything to think over!

Janette123 Mon 06-Jul-15 13:32:26

Tell DH and do it now.

Don't invite him to your house ever again and stay away from family gatherings.
You don't want this creep in your life.

GinUpGirl Mon 06-Jul-15 13:32:32

Tell your DH. Both of you tell the uncle to drop it. Avoid him for a very long time.

Pagwatch Mon 06-Jul-15 13:37:01

Why are you worried about telling your DH.

He isn't likely to respond stupidly is he?
You say something about not wanting anyone to do anything stupid.
Is that likely to be your DH?

meredieu Mon 06-Jul-15 13:38:11

I was hoping to hear that you all thought this could just blow over and be forgotten about. Of course I have no intention of letting him in again and I can see you are all right and that I must tell my husband what has happened but it will be horrible I am sure, just no nice way out of this.

KirstyJC Mon 06-Jul-15 13:40:33

Well it might be horrible, but it should be horrible for your uncle - not you. You have done nothing wrong!

meredieu Mon 06-Jul-15 13:40:52

His Uncle lives about a 2 minute walk from our house with his wife and son. DP does have a bit of a temper, not violent but I am worried that the minute I tell him he will just go round and say things in front of his Aunt and cousin. It could be a real mess.

Footle Mon 06-Jul-15 13:41:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Footle Mon 06-Jul-15 13:42:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

springydaffs Mon 06-Jul-15 13:43:12

It's not your fault though is it? This is entirely his doing, you are not responsible in any way at all

Just making that clear.

cecinestpasunepipe Mon 06-Jul-15 13:43:52

Good luck OP. It might not be so horrible as you are dreading. I think keeping it from your husband would weigh very heavily on your mind, even though you have done absolutely nothing blameworthy. Also, the lovesick uncle might say something to your DH.

KirstyJC Mon 06-Jul-15 13:44:31

Yes, 'cos it's always the woman's fault if a man is bugging her, isn't it. She probably asked for it, the harlot - walking around in the same road as him. hmm

Good luck telling your DH OP - I hope he is as supportive as he ought to be and your uncle is very firmly put in his place.

meredieu Mon 06-Jul-15 13:44:47

Him is my partner, he would be able to get to his Uncles house before sense sets in. I will try and think for a way to tell him so that doesn't happen.

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