Advice please :/

[Glitzygirl79]

Hi

I am new to this forum but needed to ask advice as im really confused :(

Been married 2 years been with my husband 8 years.

We have 3 year old together.

Since meeting my husband I always knew he romanced and told the odd white lie but we all have in our lives at some point.

But over the past 2-3 years he keeps lieing to me about the most stupid of things like who he's working with, if he had a pint after work (which is rare) as he's never goes drinking with the lads or partying as he prefers to have a beer at home)
Smoking, who he's on the phone too. He gets so touchy when I mention his work or check his phone (again he don't lock it just leaves it on kitchen side) so I know he's not hiding anything unless he's deleting it.

I forgot to mention he's a plasterer so he works with blokes but since working with these blokes he's changed. He gets so defensive and angry if I mention his work.

He told me work is work and it's nothing to do with me or which lads he works with as its in work time.

He lied to his last boss and said he left me and took our son so he could not work with him anymore (why say somthing like that IT was so hurtful when I found out)
I feel I can't talk to him lately as it turns into an argument.

He says im controlling, which im not. I do have my say as im quite outgoing like that.

He also be littles me in front of friends and his family if I say somthing he corrects me and says no it's like this etc

I'm at my total wits end I love him as we do have good times but the lies, the way he treats me is getting me down.

And I think if he can lie about small petty things what else could he be lieing about :/

Confused xxxx

[Smellyoulateralligator]

Didn't want to read and run so I'm numbing this for you in the hope someone wise will be along soon

[Smellyoulateralligator]

Bumping not numbing

[holeinmyheart]

Well, as mentioning his work is a trigger why mention it?
Why not try not mentioning it for a while and wait until he brings up work related stuff.
Why not examine why is he lying?
Usually some of the reasons for lying are,
They lack self esteem and so lie about their achievements to make them selves appear more important.
They lie because they are concealing things
They lie because they can't be bothered to explain things in detail.
They lie because they think the person they are talking to will make too much fuss about the truth.
They lie because their family all lied as so they got into the habit of doing the same and now cannot stop.

My DF constantly exaggerated and told white lies and was economical with the truth. I lied about all sorts until I learned that I shouldn't do it. My DH can't tell a lie.

If your DH lies and won't listen to reason, you either have to accept it or leave. As for belittling you in front of his family, it sounds as though he gains courage from them being there. This isn't very nice behaviour.
Who is the dominant partner?