DH has said he wants to separate and then divorce. I've been so upset and angry but now I feel quite numb.
We'd been having counselling as I felt things could be better. He was happy to come along but I always contributed more. We both agreed it was needed. I've felt like I've had more 'issues' that him that have affected our relationship as well as my life as a whole. I thought communication could be better among other things. Ive worried I thought unnecessarily we'd get divorced for whatever reason. Turned out I was chronically insecure and we left the counselling with him assuring me that I was loved,and secure. Seems I was right to feel worried paranoi and insecure.
He said everything finally made sense the other day. It all came to him in an instant. He's been down and unhappy and happier when he's with other people (which is a lot, we spend a lot of time doing our own thing). He says he has thought about life with other people and imagines himself happier but has never cheated and I believe him. He says he feels loneliest when he's with me. I can't bring myself to say what he said about our sex life. He says he's been lying to himselfpossibly for years. He now thinks he just went with what was easier ,us staying together when we met, moving in together, marrying. He's been lying to himself and me.
I'm so sad I've been the source of such unhappiness for him. He's never felt able to say all this, he says because he just didn't understand it himself.
I'm also really angry - it's a waste of 7 years. I'm in my mid thirties. I don't have family that cares about me. I wanted a family with him. We don't have DC
But in hindsight I should have seen it all,the unhappiness, him being cold and distant. I don't have a great sense of what a good relationship IS though, so I guess I've never known.
I don't know what to do next. We're just over a week away from moving into a new house in a new town, neither of us can afford it on our own and its a two year lease.
I don't know where to begin really and I'm not sure what the point of this post is really.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
DH says he wants to seperate. I feel bereft but what now
fuckingfuckfuck · 06/07/2015 10:16
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