DH smokes cannabis in front of our kids

[cosIsaidso]

My DH is a chronic cannabis user who will never quit. He has been 'skinning up' in front of our children all their lives, he openly smokes in front of them, he takes them to his dealer's house when he scores and he doesn't really have any friends who don't share his habit. Although I try to be liberal minded, I can't help but worry about the effect his behaviour is having on the kids. When we met I just thought it wouldn't be a problem because tbh I shared his habit, then when the kids came along I sort of ignored the issue cos it was easier. If I make an issue out of it, it will cause loads of arguments etc, but I know he won't stop. Any pearls of wisdom from any of you that might help?

[RagingJellyBean]

Are you serious?

[Offred]

Leave him. That's all.

[LuckyLuckyMe]

You have a right to be worried. He should not be allowed near DC while smoking never mind taking them to a dealers house. Let's face it you don't know what goes on there.

[FixItUpChappie]

doesn't that speak to a larger issue with his personality?....if he wouldn't stop knowing you (nor the majority of people, nor SS) find this acceptable?

[eachtigertires]

My DP is also a chronic (cannabis and tobacco) smoker. We don't have kids. We won't have kids until he has quit smoking. It's a deal breaker for me. I know people my age who have parents who are chronic cannabis users and they are either chronic users themselves or very resentful of their parent(s) due to the time/money/health that it has cost them.

[Cliffdiver]

There is a vast difference to being liberal minded and allowing your DC to be exposed to dangerous situations and compromising their health?

How old are they? If school age I am surprised the school has not picked up on it, as they must smell of cannabis

Why are you with this man? And why are you allowing this to happen?

My advise can be easily summed up in one word: leave.

[Cliffdiver]

Rogue question mark in the first paragraph!

[avocadotoast]

Jesus wept, he takes them to the dealer's?!

How old are the kids?

Someone in DH's family has a partner who smokes weed in front of their baby. A lot. All three of them reek of it; they came round our house and left the smell behind. Soon as that baby starts school, it'll be pretty obvious to staff that it's going on, and I'd imagine they have to keep an eye on it as a potential safeguarding issue. Do you want that for your children, OP?

[MyFriendsCallMeOh]

Why did you decide to have kids with a drug addict?

[SickInBedOnTwoChairs]

Just smoking round the DCs would have me furious but illegal drugs! Taking the kids to the dealer!!!! - Please come back and say that you have a plan to change all of this. How old are the DC? Because you indulge or have done in the past, does not make this OK. You sound like you are presiding over an experiment to see if DC growing up in a household where drugs are normal will make them addicts in adult life. I can tell you the answer will be yes.

[JeanSeberg]

This'll be the same husband you describe as cruel, controlling and abusive on another thread, then?

[forumdonkey]

Poor DC's exposed and stinking of weed. Are they at school yet? Wait for a visit from SS and it can't come quick enough IMO. I can't believe that you have allowed your DC's to be exposed to this and go to his dealers!!

[NorksAreMessy]

[woowoo22]

LTB, why would you subject your kids to this? And no, he is NOT a good father.

[EeyoresTail]

This is what you get for putting your head in the sand!

[LumpySpacedPrincess]

You are complicit in this if you allow it to continue.

[KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable]

If I make an issue out of it, it will cause loads of arguments etc

So what? Sounds like argument is needed. Actually kicking the fucker out is needed.

What about this situation makes you stay?

[whatsagoodusername]

He takes them to his dealer's house??????

None of it is acceptable, but seriously? I know cannabis is a relatively harmless drug but the drug business is not and children should not be around it.

[cosytoaster]

Leave. You're a bad parent if you stay.

[tatumsfunkychicken]

Scottish school holidays

Anyway...
Your poor DC, what a start in life.
Get a grip.
LTB
HTH

[Lagoonablue]

Cannabis is not a harmless drug though. It is nothing like the mild weed people smoked in the 70s and even 80s. The stuff now is strong to really strong and tbh will fry your brain if you use it a lot.

If your kids are around cannabis smokers they will be exposed to its reactive chemicals much like tobacco smokers. And to PP re their friends baby.....tbh I would be reporting it as a safeguarding issue myself, not waiting until the child attended school.

[TheoriginalLEM]

is this a joke?

[Pipparivers]

My concerns would be the affect on their health being around the smoke. I don't think watching their dad will make them addicts. I was around similar as a child and haven't smoked or taken any illegal substance in my adult life, neither have any of the children that experienced this with me. I think people can get really het up when you say dealer. Most people that smoke like this aren't going to some dodgy crack den to buy weed! They are popping to a mates house who probably has some growing kit or are selling enough to fund their habit. I wouldn't be terrified by my child spending a short amount of supervised time with these people.
Weed use doesn't seem to be an issue for you, but it shouldn't be polluting your children's lungs. Tell him to get outside with his poison!

[gamerchick]

You are aware that your kids will probably end up using it themselves don't you OP?