Hi all, Long time lurker first time poster!
I've decided the time has come to end my relationship. I've been with dp for five years, we rent together and have no kids.
I've realized that essentially my dp is a man child. Since being with him I've pretty much run his life: I've paid all the bills, done all the housework, lost touch with most of my friends and pretty much dedicated my life to being a subservient housewife who also has to work 60+ hours a week to support him. He works too but doesn't contribute anything aside form his half of the rent. Alongside that he is also very emotionally manipulative.
I feel like an utter idiot.
This week I've had an Epiphany in that I don't deserve this. I've got myself into a financial hole through having to pay for the both of us and giving him money over the years when he's got himself in trouble. Completely stupid, I know.
I've sorted out my finances, although my credit rating is shot I will be out of debt in 4 months and am going to be taking up another job so I can start saving.
I have to leave him, I have no choice. But I need help working out the logistics and seeing if my plan sounds reasonable...so..
Living arrangements: My family live 4 hours away in a very rural location where this isn't much around job wise, as such my LAST resort is to move back home.
Ideally I want to stay living in our flat. It's a two bed and whilst I can't afford the rent on my own, I can afford it if I have a flatmate. Because of my credit rating I think it would be hard to find another flat, added to that there is a massive shortage of housing in our area.
His family live 20 minutes away so he could go back home, otherwise I don't mind for an interim amount of time him staying in the spare room, because it's half the size I would suggest he pays half the rent and I will pay my half and cover the bills (which is out current situation anyway!).
My problem is if I break up with him what would be fair in regards to living arrangements? Should he go back home? Can I force him to move out? He can't afford another place in our town, he doesn't have the money for a deposit and our rent is cheap as we know the Landlord. I'm concerned that if I break up with him he'll tell me to move out and essentially I'll be homeless!
I'm never going to get the money back that I've given him over the years, I know that, but all furniture aside from the TV is mine, so if I leave I don't know what on earth I'd do with it!!
So yeah. I know I've got to leave and emotionally I don't feel bad/sad about it. I'm in my 20's and I want to get my life back.
Does my plan sound OK? Is there anything else I need to think about? Any MN wisdom you can give is much appreciated x
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I'm throwing in the towel. Help me plan my exit?
13 replies
Lookoutthewindow · 01/07/2015 08:42
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.