Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Do you ever dream about an Ex?

(19 Posts)
ThisTimeIAmMagic Tue 30-Jun-15 23:58:06

I have two Exes who I dream about occasionally, one of them maybe three times a year, the other roughly twice a year. All other exes pop up every couple of years losers grin

Last night I dreamt about both of them in the same dream! It was quite pleasant (they were both nice, not horrible) but I always feel a bit odd waking up beside DH having dreamt about ex boyfriends. Dreaming about a stranger feels less guilty somehow.

Do you ever dream about an ex? And is it nice if you do? I'm just being nosey really grin

ShitHotAwesome Wed 01-Jul-15 00:05:28

Yep, I have occasionally had lovely dreams about an ex and woken up next to DH feeling rather guilty. He's awkward about exes too so I can't even mention it to him!

UncertainSmile Wed 01-Jul-15 00:07:09

Quite a lot

ShinyButtons Wed 01-Jul-15 00:07:14

I sometimes dream about my ExH, in the last one i was trapped in the back of black cab that he was driving and he was going to shoot me... my main worry seemed to be he would ruin the green polka dot dress I was wearing.
In the other one I somehow end up living with him again and I'm trapped in one room and have to try and escape before he notices.
I never seem to have any really good dreams about anything, they are all rather bizarre grin

ThisTimeIAmMagic Wed 01-Jul-15 00:11:46

I always wonder why it's these two exes in particular who pop up most frequently. What is my brain trying to tell me? It made me want to contact one of them today - don't worry, I didn't, that way lies madness! But does it mean unresolved business or just fond memories?

I had a real bastard ex who I was besotted with at the time and I have only dreamt about him a couple of times in twenty years. He's the one you'd think my brain would still be churning over but apparently he doesn't make the cut grin

griselda101 Wed 01-Jul-15 00:20:52

i was thinking about posting a thread about this seconds ago! how weird. had a dream last night about a significant ex, it was quite nice although he does have a new partner now so it was almost like the beginnings of a forbidden relationship with him whilst his ex wasn't far off!! In RL i'm not interested in getting with him (was years ago) and have no idea where he even is but it was a bit weird to dream about him (and nice) and seemed to come from nowhere!

i'm a bit of a believer in woo stuff, I think we have energetic connections to people we interact with on a deep level (like ex's), almost like invisible energetic threads still attaching us to them that are hard to sever, particularly if it was a difficult break up or we were truly in love / lust or whatever. Finding real closure can be hard, especially if a large part of our psyche was attached to them as it's like these threads that are still connected so stops us moving on as well as we would like. There are some techniques for healing this stuff but I haven't yet tried it. Think I might have to! Anyway - you must think i am mad...! It's a theory, anyway...

Y0la Wed 01-Jul-15 00:23:57

Sometimes, but it's more about the feeling I had just before the relationship ended. When I feel trapped or controlled I dream of the kids' father. And once, when I felt I was about to compromise my integrity, I dreamt of an x who dumped me with a brutal character assassination and I was devastated but I wanted so badly to get back with him. When I got my pride back I was disgusted with myself that I'd wanted a man who'd judged me so harshly to take me back.

ThisTimeIAmMagic Wed 01-Jul-15 00:25:59

Spooky Griselda grin

You know just sitting here, I've realised that both of them were the only boyfriends I went out with twice. So we went out for a bit, split up, went out with other people, then got back together only to split again. Maybe that's why they get twice the dream quota.

I may have just solved my own mystery thanks to typing out loud. I quite like your theory about invisible energy strings though Griselda smile

ThisTimeIAmMagic Wed 01-Jul-15 00:28:08

Y0la that makes sense actually, especially the controlling one. That's why I've always been surprised I don't dream about bastard ex more because he really did a number on me and I was MAD about him. He would be the obvious one to dream about but I just don't.

Y0la Wed 01-Jul-15 00:29:21

invisible energy ??.
it's a dynamic that is familiar. even if it's not with a romantic or sexual partner, your sub conscious will see the similarity. lots of dynamics repeat themselves and remind us of previous similar dynamics, especially if they're not healthy or we could handle things better or we need to be wary.

i suppose awareness is an energy of sorts

Orrelly Wed 01-Jul-15 00:52:56

Yes. And about my kids waking me up , when actually the kids in the upstairs flat running around. It makes me feel physically sick when I eventually open my eyes sometimes and unable to get out of bed.it's always the last dream.

ShitHotAwesome Wed 01-Jul-15 03:46:40

Ooh, similar dynamics makes a lot of sense for mine. I have had a few this year about leaving ex (with relief) and breaking into new relationships (with another ex) but now I am seeing them in the context of the new phase in my relationship with OH- been in a rocky/bickery place but now rediscovering us a bit more smile

VernonGodLittle Wed 01-Jul-15 04:19:44

I do, but they're what I'd describe as nightmares. I dreamt I woke up next to my (vile) ex, and that I hadn't left him at all, and my life since then had been a dream. Or I'd dream that somehow I'd let him move back in with me, and didn't understand how I'd let that happen. These dreams were a recurring theme for years, and I was relieved when they petered out.

I remember reading something that sort of resonates, by Jung. Something about facing unresolved issues with our Animus when we dream about those of the opposite sex. Especially partners, I seem to recall.

ThisTimeIAmMagic Wed 01-Jul-15 09:13:15

Gosh that's food for thought. Both exes were a bit emotionally distant and DH and I feel quite distant at the minute. Maybe it's a warning bell! shock

Anniegetyourgun Wed 01-Jul-15 09:17:49

I only have one ex (sheltered life!) and dream about him very rarely. It's usually that he's taking some kind of liberty and I'm trying to hit him but my hands are too weak blush

ThisTimeIAmMagic Wed 01-Jul-15 21:38:09

Anyone else? smile

MatildaTheCat Wed 01-Jul-15 21:51:11

Just this week I dreamt I was in bed, very chastely with an ex from my teens. I was at my old family home but suddenly remembered I had another 'boyfriend' (DH of 26 years) and was in a total panic about everything including where I would live. It was just before I woke up and when I woke up and realised I did have a house and a husband and did not have to negotiate my way out of bed with this ex, well, huge relief!

I was a completely non sexual dream but very disturbing, I really was disorientated when I woke as it felt so real.

officeworker Wed 01-Jul-15 22:19:57

I broke up with my ex last November, and it was a difficult break up and I am finally moving on now.

However, I dream about him every ten days or so at least. The last time was two nights ago and I was on holiday with my Mum, but he was in the living room of the apartment and I was too scared to go in and see him. Anyway I did and he hugged me, kissed me and said he loved me. I tried to tell him in the dream he was out of line for something that happened since we broke up, and he told me he did what he thought was right.

Other than being on holiday, it was all so so real, I woke up thinking it had actually happened. And to be fair it's what I want to happen. I've tried googling it but I've no idea what the dream was trying to tell me. Other than playing out exactly what I want!

NickiFury Wed 01-Jul-15 22:29:12

I have done but not for ages. I dreamt about Adrian Grenier a few nights ago though and that was just lovely smile. Been watching "Entourage" box sets back to back so it was an added bonus.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now