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Married men on dating websites!!

(15 Posts)
Pootle989 Tue 30-Jun-15 21:00:37

I got messaging a guy who found me on a dating website. He didn't have a picture but neither did I because of where I work. We exchanged photos, and messages for 10 days and then he asked if I wanted to meet up. I said that would be nice and then back came a message that he was 'separated i.e. separate bedrooms but still living at home and married with children'. I realised at that point it wasn't a good idea to carry on and then the next day I got a message from someone else asking if I'd go out with a married man??? What do these men think they're doing?? I'm really annoyed at having been sucked in up to that point.
Okay so I'm obviously pretty naive but who would go out with a man that openly states on a dating website they are still married? Are these married men really going to meet anyone on a dating website?

Louboutin37 Tue 30-Jun-15 21:28:27

They're all over dating websites. I used to brush them off with "why don't you grow a pair like I did and get out before you look? Otherwise I pity everyone in your future love triangle".

Seriously though. Pity them but don't give it much more air time. 8 months ago one I'd rejected sent me naked photos of another "Zoe" that had clearly rejected him as well. Luckily he had sent me the previous chain where she'd realised he wasn't single either. With her approval we took him down in a wet pool of ashes on email ��

Maleperspective99 Tue 30-Jun-15 22:00:51

There are lots of them on dating websites, there are easy ways to uncover them and I hate to have to say this as a man but they are just after a quick shag.

polkadotsrock Tue 30-Jun-15 22:03:18

Fucks me right off. Nothing useful to add, just that such flagrant disregard for their family and the arrogance to think they're such a catch that you won't mind fucks me off.

Pootle989 Tue 30-Jun-15 22:28:08

But does anyone actually go out with these men for them to keep trying on a dating site? Surely when there are single men they should just give up?

FredaMayor Wed 01-Jul-15 09:08:51

Forgive me for stating what might be the bleeding obvious, but do you put 'no married types' or words to that effect on your profile?

LoisPuddingLane Wed 01-Jul-15 09:12:51

Makes no difference if you do. I've always stated that I'm not interested in people in a relationship or married, and you still get them. They are clever too. Sometimes it's only afterwards I've thought - ah, he probably wasn't separated was he. Not if he's living in the same apartment. Not if he's "living next door". Not if he's living "just down the road". Not if he's having one last family holiday even though they've split up. But they tell you all sorts of things.

Turtlefeet Wed 01-Jul-15 09:21:52

I am not a dating site user myself but my best friend is. I have been known to look through the site with her after a few glasses of wine - not for myself, helping her short list a few.

Several times now I have come across profiles with photographs of me I know are married. Neighbours,colleagues,kids friends Dads,some one in a club I belong to etc etc.

None of these people are close friends so I would never phone up the wife and say "Do you know your husband is on X site?" although I have pondered a few times.

It maybe they have an agreement with their wife but probably not. It just shocks me that I have seen that many with photos. I cannot help and wonder how many married men are on there with no pics on their profile.

I also have several friends who have discovered their husbands infidelity goes back to/originates from dating sites. I think it is rife.

I am in no doubt its not just men but because my friend isnt looking at female profiles I cannot comment on how many women I may know doing the same.

My friend has had a woman in tears on the phone accusing her of being a life wrecker etc etc. She had no idea "her" bloke of 3 months was married with 3 kids under 7 to a woman 20 miles in another town.

Alot of these people/cheaters just dont care. They are not only lying to their partners/wives but also the people they date/shag too. Very deceitful and alot of pain that can be caused.

Pootle989 Thu 02-Jul-15 01:10:46

I guess I can see why some do it but do they get any women who are interested?

Inexperiencedchick Thu 02-Jul-15 07:55:11

How do you know they are married?

Trills Thu 02-Jul-15 08:04:25

Did you say that you have no picture up?

Maybe they thin you are also looking for an affair.

Joysmum Thu 02-Jul-15 08:07:58

My guess is that there are married women on there too who don't want a relationship with strings, or singles who don't. I say this as possible explanation, not justification or approval. wink

DrSethHazlittMD Thu 02-Jul-15 08:14:28

Joysmum - yes, there are. As an unmarried single man who tried online dating for ages (never ever again) I can tell you that there are married women on there too after some "extra curricular activities"

Walkacrossthesand Thu 02-Jul-15 13:43:51

During my lengthy period of 'single & not looking ' (while I raised my young children and worked to fund our lives) I naively thought that the world of online dating would be there for me when I was ready, taking out all the 'is he or isn't he single' about meeting nice men in real life. How mistaken I was...

ineedabodytransplant Thu 02-Jul-15 17:21:31

I must really have lived/am living a sheltered life blush

Even when I was despairing about my lack of intimacy within my marriage, I wouldn't have ever dreamt of putting myself on a dating website. And even now that my marriage is well and truly over and we have gone our separate ways, I still couldn't do it. Mind you, that's probably a lucky escape for all the women on the sites grin

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